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OnePlusYou Quizzes and Widgets

Monday, October 26, 2009


It's been awhile.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


If you ever feel what you're feeling is so wrong, yet something, or someone deep inside of you tells you different - that it's so right - never give up.

It's worth it.


Friday, August 21, 2009


I have to sleep.

I have to practise.

I have to practise.


And it's not very likely I'll get to do the above for the whole of next week.

At least I'm going home.

Sunday, July 19, 2009


At this rate, the next four years are gonna go be over in a flash.

I can hardly believe it has been already a week since I got to Singapore. A whole week of practising, registering, exploring, socialising, and doing other what-nots is over, and boy oh boy it sure doesn't end there!

Sunday, July 12, 2009


I type this as I am half stoned.

The time has come.

I bid my goodbyes.

The adventure begins.

Sunday, July 5, 2009


I love Weeds.

And how can you not fall in love with Mary-Louise Parker?

I have never cried this much when watching a movie.

Thursday, July 2, 2009




Tuesday, June 30, 2009


First impressions can be an absolute bitch sometimes.

I've realised a couple of things in the last few days - people, including myself, are too quick to jump to conclusions about other people or issues. If they're not lucky, they will always have the same thoughts.

Here I am at the crossroads of life, about to enter music tertiary education, which a somewhat solid, basic music foundation behind me already. Having learned music for more than a decade surely has got me somewhere at least.

My point here is related to a concert which I watched a few days ago. I had very high expectations of Chuanyun Li, the solo violinist of the night. I emerged from the concert hall after, and felt disappointed. There were so many things about his performance that I could criticise - in particular his interpretation of the piece he played.

Barely a day later, I had second thoughts. Who am I to criticise? Who am I to judge? I'm no expert. And I also realised that he is one musician who really goes for it, who really takes the risk, who has fresh interpretations, plus who is a little cuckoo (quite cuckoo, actually) - and these are the qualities which are so important in a musician. It's not about whether the audience likes the interpretation or not. After all, you can't please everyone in this world. You're bound to have fans and haters.

Speaking of fans and haters, people have been asking - will Michael Jackson be remembered as a legend or a whacko? I bet there are lots of people out there who will remember him as the latter. Of course the majority of the world will remember him as a legend.

When the news came out, I was skeptical. I honestly can't explain why, but I figured I was too influenced by all that conspiracy of him being already dead and what not.

In the last few days, I've come to accept the fact that Michael Jackson is dead, and yes - he will remain a legend to me. No one can deny what he has brought to this world. I can still remember being on that stage with him back when I was a kid.

Last weekend I played a solo performance and decided to do a Michael Jackson medley - and after actually performing it in public it really did strike me.

Back to the topic of interpretation, there are bound to be people who dislike one's interpretation of a song, piece or whatsoever. I'm prepared for that, with this video.

Friday, June 26, 2009


Michael Jackson is dead.

The King of Pop. Dead.

Or is he?

In this day and age, celebrities are worshipped as Gods, degraded like pimps and whores, or criticised to no end. Either that or people simply start spreading rumours about them - good or bad. The latter is more common of course

So when I found out this morning that MJ was dead, I thought to myself, "Come on. Really?"

I was told of a conspiracy theory some time back, that MJ was actually already dead back in the 80s, buried in his synthetic world of Neverland, and that the MJ of the last two decades was an impersonator. Sounds familiar?

Now that MJ is 'really' dead, people are also starting possible conspiracy theories about his death. Just to give one example, some say the media 'killed' him off for reasons unknown (as a distraction, some say), while others argue saying that all celebrities are mortals too - and that he died of a normal death.

Me? I really don't know, and like many others out there probably never will. On Facebook I see this 'Signing the Memorial for Michael Jackson'. I decided not to sign it cause after all, what difference could I make, since I myself am still at the stage of massaging my chin over the issue.


Megan Fox is a man.

The hottt Megan Fox. A man.

Or is she?

After watching the first installment of Transformers, the majority of males were going crazy about the newest, hottest thing in town - Megan Fox.

Honestly, I'm no big fan. Even back then I could tell there was something fishy - about her face.

Some months ago, it was reported that Megan Fox is a man, or 'was a man', I should say. There it was - the whole blow up of a story talking about how Mitchell Reed Fox was helped by his parents at a young age to undergo the sex change as the potential was in him to become a star - as a female.

Someone just too jealous of her or something, maybe? Who knows.

The video (which I find both kinda stupid and hilarious) I'm about to post up here explores the CGI which the crew of Transformers use on Megan Fox herself. So guys, the Megan Fox you see in Transformers isn't the natural Megan Fox. Search for the video where she jokes (does she really?) that she is a man and that she is either a tranny or a doppelganger for Alan Alda. That's where you can really see that Megan Fox is merely hot - not beautiful. Gosh, her face.

Then again if you are one of those guys who jerks off to Megan Fox everyday, you are completely entitled to calling me an idiot for simply bringing up the topic on whether she is a man.

See how things work?

Tuesday, June 23, 2009


I love food.

I love to eat food.

I love to eat a lot of food.

When I leave this country in less than three weeks, I am going to miss Malaysian food, in particular my favourite food in the world - BANANA LEAF RICE.

And coming back from Penang after three days there is going to remind me even more of how much I will miss Malaysian hawker food.

Yes, it is not very flattering for me to know that all that gluttony in the last few days has made me gain even more weight (damn, I've already put on so much weight in the last 18 months), but heck, I love to eat. My family loves to eat. Who cares.

At least Singapore has pretty decent chicken rice, and I'm sure I will discover other yummy stuff to eat. Either that, or this may be the start of a good chance for me to lose weight.

The countdown begins.

Thursday, June 18, 2009


It still hasn't sunk in.

Pre-university life is over. 18 months of mixed feelings throughout, mostly negative however.

Boy am I glad it has all finally come to an end.

Here comes the real tertiary education stage.

Am I ready? I hope so.

Eight hours ago, another chapter of my life closed.

In 25 days, another will open its doors for me to explore further.

Now that - will be the real beginning - of life.

Sunday, June 14, 2009


Yuri Bashmet and the Moscow Soloists
Yuri Bashmet, viola and director

The first time I found out that Yuri Bashmet and the Moscow Soloists were coming to Singapore, I couldn't believe it and wanted to go so bad. The timing wasn't very good, since the concert was during my exam period.

Damn am I lucky that I managed to go for it. It was a truly amazing performance.

Right from the opening bars of the Holberg Suite by Grieg, I knew I was in for a treat. Watching the Moscow Soloists perform live is really something else. Yuri Bashmet himself said, "This orchestra has a very specific sound, a different sound – with a unique colour." I fully agree with him. The experience was close to indescribable.

And my god, listening to Yuri Bashmet live is something even bigger. One of the major highlights of the programme was Bruch's Kol Nidrei - and boy oh boy did was it absolutely stellar. I had goosebumps right from the first note he played. The thing about Bashmet is he really takes the risk. When he means sul pont, he really plays sul pont, and when he means sul tasto, he really, really, really plays sul tasto. Sublime. To say that he is my idol would be an understatement. Really.

The rest of the concert was equally engaging, especially the Tchaikovsky String Serenade. Tchaikovsky himself said that the piece was written for a 'large string ensemble' - which would normally mean the piece should be played by a full string section. Bashmet and the Moscow Soloists though defied that, and the end result was still brilliant. The Elegie was probably the best I've ever heard.

I'm still overwhelmed from last night. The superb balance within the ensemble, Bashmet's 'emotions-without-being-sticky', the excellent gestures shown by Bashmet by thanking each and every member - everything about last night was just great.

So, worth making a trip down to Singapore, right smack in the middle of exams?

You bet.

Monday, June 8, 2009



There have been so many decisions which I have had to make in my life.

I would have to say most of the BIG decisions have been made based on my gut feeling.

Thinking back, I would say one of the most recent decisions I've had to make is possibly the most significant one.

Just imagine, if you had to decide between A or B, and you chose the B, the path less traveled.

And it made all the difference.

Monday, May 25, 2009


Okay so Adam Lambert didn't win American Idol.

And although I thought he should've won, I have to admit it's not entirely fair for me to choose sides. After all, I did not follow Season 8. All I did was watch a couple of Adam Lambert videos and fall in love with him.

Okay not really fall in love with him but yeah you know what I mean.

No, this isn't about Adam Lambert. This is about the coolest thing I was told yesterday.


So yeah.


I'm finding it very hard to imagine that in less than 2 months, I will no longer be sleeping on my bed, in my room, in my house, in PJ, in Selangor, in Malaysia.

Dammit time passes too fast.

I'm so relieved that I did my last chemistry practical a few days ago. I mean, hello, the last one ever. EVER. At the same time, I MIGHT just miss it a bit. After all, practical became so much cooler in college.

And I can't believe that in 8 days, I'll be playing in perhaps the biggest concert I've ever played in my life.

Saturday, May 16, 2009


During the recent game of Manchester United vs Tottenham Hotspur at Old Trafford, the commentator was saying: "... this is the best league in the world."

I fully agreed with him, and as United came back from 2-0 down to beat Spurs 5-2, there I was thinking, "if this is the best league in the world, and United are the best team in this league, then surely they are the best team in the world."



On a completely different note,

June 2nd. June 7th.

Mark these dates in your calendar, and hurry along to the Box Office.


I said NOW.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009


It's been exactly 40 years.

What has this nation seen since then? Nothing much better.

The PM having a hand in murder.
Operasi Lalang.
The goyang kaki attitude.
Unfair quotas for scholarships.
A sleeping PM who sought advice from his son-in-law on how to run the country.
The NEP.
An 'angkasawan'.
The greater progress of a neighbouring country which was once a part of us.
A double sodomy allegation (by now it should have a tagline: every 10 years).
The Judicial Crisis.
Countless deaths in National Service.
An MB-less state.
Animals in Parliament.
The Internal Security Act and everything surrounding the topic.

And the list goes on and on. Please don't hesitate to add on.

After all, I'm only this old to know the mere gist of what has happened thus far since May 13, 1969.

Sunday, May 10, 2009


Chicken fries.


Chicken fries.


Chicken burgers.

I thought you just said chicken fries.

Then why did you ask again?

I dunno. What the hell are chicken fries anyway? What's your problem?

I dunno.

What's your problem?


What's wrong wi - WHAT?! But I thought you just said you didn't know what your problem was?

Then why did you ask again?


Go to hell, would ya.

WHAT? But I just said geez - which stands for Jesus -


HUH? So?

You used his name to curse.

Would you consider that cursing?

Of course. Didn't I just say that?

Geez. You're stuck up.

Am I, now?

This is the result of intelligent randomization.

Saturday, May 2, 2009


May 1st has passed.

Remember that 5%? Well, it's now reduced to nothing.


I will think about this every day of my life, for the next four years.

Or will I?

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Paul Dateh.

Now this is a great example of someone who dares to do be different.

Sit back and soak up the sheer awesomeness.

Sunday, April 26, 2009


Forget Cicakman.

Forget 1957 Hati Malaya.


SELL OUT! ($311.0u7!)

In cinemas May 7th

Sell Out! world-premiered at the Venice Film Festival in 2008 and won the Young Cinema Award for Altre Visioni. It also won the NETPAC Award at the Taipei Golden Horse Film Festival and has been invited to 13 international film festivals so far.

Starring: Jerrica Lai, Peter Davis, Kee Thuan Chye, Lim Teik Leong, Hannah Lo, Lee Szu Hung and Wong Wai Hoong.

Director and Writer: Yeo Joon Han


Her name is Rafflesia Pong (Rafflesia=largest flower in the world, which reeks of animal carcass; Pong=stink). She’s a bottom-ranking arts show host who’s disillusioned with “those over-rated underachievers we call artists.” He’s Eric Tan (Eric=Eric, Tan=typical Chinese surname), a product designer who’s just about to learn that it doesn’t pay to be creative. They both work for FONY, a multinational conglomerate whose mission statement, copied from a Taiwanese company, is to be original.

In the face of such pressure, will Eric and Rafflesia retain their artistic integrityor will they finally sell out to fame, fortune or some other nasty thing that also starts with “F”?


Someone actually said he felt this was one his list of best movies of the year. Mind you, he didn't mean best MALAYSIAN movies, but best MOVIES.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Saturday, April 18, 2009


How would you feel if you had no choice but to turn down an unbelievable opportunity to study in one of the top music schools in the world?

How would you feel if you had no choice but to give up on a chance to study with a renowned, caring and concerned teacher who actually contacts you first?

How would you feel if you had no choice but to think that all hope is lost of exploring a new culture and environment?

How would you feel if all of this was because life is unfair, and in this world only some people have enough money to study abroad?

How would you feel if, by having to decline this amazing offer, life would never be the way it should've been?

This 5% of hope which I have left is solely based on the number of days I have left, which in itself - doesn't make sense.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


In stressful and somewhat demotivating times like this, it's nice to try and think of more positive things in life, such as -

Alexa Nikolas.


Celery juice.
The perfect tonic when you're not totally convinced by the current situation of your bowels. Bowels system.


Maybe I'm just sleepy.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009


The Final Breakdown:

Yong Siew Toh, National University of Singapore - accepted
Manhattan School of Music - rejected
Eastman School of Music, University of Rochester - accepted
New England Conservatory - rejected
College-Conservatory of Music, University of Cincinnati - accepted
Oberlin Conservatory, Oberlin College - waitlisted
School of Music, Western Illinois University - accepted

Not too bad, considering the fact that a few years ago, this might well have been impossible to even imagine.

Then again, impossible is nothing. Right?

Geez. Advertisements nowadays.


It has been a full month since I received the unbelievable news that I had been accepted into Eastman. When I applied to the schools in the US, I never had a first choice, but Eastman was definitely ranked among the top on my list.

One month on, and it looks as if the wonderful opportunity to study there is gradually fading away.

No, I do not want to be negative or pessimistic, and no, I do not want to give up hope, but in life, one must be REALISTIC. One must make the right choices when the going gets tough, when things don't fall into place, and just hope for a brighter tomorrow.

During this period of thought, I have been evaluating the pros and cons of studying at Eastman, or Yong Siew Toh, for that matter.

At the end of the day, I may well have to make a choice - to do the right thing.

Saturday, April 11, 2009


I can't go for AYO.

I can't go for AYO.

I can't go for AYO.



It's a sad, sad situation. I'm stuck with the decision of having to turn down the offer of joining the Asian Youth Orchestra this year. What a letdown, after being one of only two Malaysians accepted.

If I were to go for AYO's summer festival and tour, I can foresee that I would feel a little better about myself when I enter university. As it is now, I'll just be going in to university without the extra experience and knowledge.

Sigh, the sacrifices one has to make.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009


"... it is true that the Chinese and Indians lost their faith in us and this was clear during the March 8 elections... But I have met with many of them and spoken to them, and they are now more confident in us." - Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin.

Oh really?

Then how is it you guys could lose the two 'Bukits' - Bukit Gantang and Bukit Selambau, again? And, don't forget, by a bigger margin in both seats!

Come on, fuckers. Stop living in denial. Stop believing that the Chinese and the Indians are supporting you. Don't waste your breath by being so cock-sure about winning these by-elections. It's 4 out of 5 now, dicks.

And where was Malaysia's favourite pop star Mahathir, eh? Oh yes, of course, there he was, 'playing' at a gig in Bukit Gantang, drawing cheers from his fans, going "Hidup Tun! Hidup Mahathir!" Some of you, his cronies thought he'd make an impact on the results. Well you now know that he didn't. Would be interesting to see what he has to say tomorrow.

After all this, Badawi is sitting pretty at home, flipping the channels on TV, and thinking to himself, "Well, I shouldn't have anything to do with this, since Najib is now in charge."

Who knows? Maybe Mahathir will decide to take a swipe at you again, dude.

Today's moral of the story: If your maggi goreng is too, too pedas, don't fucking eat it.

No, I mean that, like, literally.

Monday, April 6, 2009


University of Rochester,


National University of Singapore,


Where would you rather be?

Thursday, April 2, 2009


Malaysia ahh, really anything boleh wan la.

Bribe police? Boleh.

Political sex scandal boleh.

Goyang kaki and dapat scholarship memang boleh.

Super fucking dirty toilet pun boleh.

Yoga kena ban also boleh.

Double, triple parking boleh.

"Correct, correct, correct" pun boleh.

1.7 million ringgit worth of public funds for a screwed up politician's so called 'official trips' with his wife, three kids, and Indonesian maid mana boleh? Gila kah? MEMANG BOLEH!!

Never on time for anything - boleh.

"Ikut saja" pun boleh.

Buy and sell pirated DVDs, VCDs, itu boleh juga.

Buy over politicians to take over state government boleh. Biasa doh.

Never pay saman boleh.

Work 5 minutes, minum 2 hours? BOLEH!

Note the highlighted cases.

Well I thought my Moral Studies lecturer was a dumb fuck in some ways. Looks like he isn't that dumb after all.

Today in class, he was talking about the case of murder and it went something like this: "an eye for an eye is the common understanding of the issue. When you kill someone, you are sentenced to death. But in Malaysia, if you kill someone, you can become - Prime Minister."



Too bad it's too late. Look who's gonna be sworn in tomorrow.

Get ready.

For destruction.

Friday, March 27, 2009


As musicians, we wonder if our major instrument is really the instrument meant for us individually. It's very hard to tell, but I have come to my own conclusion of my major instrument.

The viola is the tenor-alto instrument. Since it is known as the 'middle voice' of the string section, I came to realise that it is after all the instrument which "fits me like a glove" (quote Kevin Field).

Since I was young, whenever I listened to songs, whatever genre they may be, I've always sung along with a song, mostly harmonising with the main melody line. During the time with my band, I used to be the one doing harmonising vocals. I could always improvise with harmonic lines to fit in with a song. That, I suppose, transcends to me playing of the viola.

My teacher told me once, which goes something along the lines of: "in an orchestra, the string parts for the viola may not be as interesting or melodic, since the first violins usually get the best bits. The idea is to enjoy the sound that you make when you play the viola while the other sections have the nicer parts."

I've learnt to accept the importance of the viola, and learned to feel the empowering harmony that the instrument brings to an ensemble. Such an experience it has been so far.

Two schools down. Six to go.

I was meant to do this.

Remember to turn off your lights, kids.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

In Your Dreams.

Last night, I dreamt that Najis didn't become PM.

You know how your dreams can be very vague. This one was no different. I kind of remember something like the reason being he had finally been found guilty of his involvement with the Altantuya case.

But he was still DPM.

But we were still laughing our heads off.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Deja vu.

In life,

There is so much to reflect on,

And there is so much not to reflect on.

In life,

There are so many things to be proud of and grateful for,

While there are so many things to be not proud of and grateful for.

In life,

There is so much to look forward to,

Yet there is so much to not look forward to.

In life,

There are so many things that one can't wait for,

As there are so many things that one can wait for.

In life,

There is so much we wish we could do,

And there is so much we wish we don't have to do.

Back to the grind.

Saturday, March 14, 2009


This morning at 7:55 am, I received an e-mail with the first line saying:

Hello Jebat,
Congratulations on your admission to the Eastman School of Music!

Let's hope this is the beginning of more to come!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

365 days ago.

If you were to ask someone what they did exactly a year ago, on that very day, chances are they wouldn’t be able to remember.

Some situations are excluded of course – for instance they would surely remember what they did if it was the date of their birthday, a cousin’s wedding, the day a friend passed on, the first time someone had sex

For me, I remember what happened on March 8, 2008.

My sister and I walked out of the house, down to the nearby school. We met the people at the pondok panas, who gave us incredibly huge PKR shirts to put on. To work.

Some cars were driving by, people walking to the school, getting ready to vote. People came up to us asking us to check whether they were at the right polling station. I don’t remember all too clearly, but the bottom line was we had to point these people to the BN pondok panas – where they had computers to check in the database.

Whenever we had no choice but to tell these people to go over to the BN side, I kept thinking to myself: “Shit, we’re gonna lose voters at this rate.” Now that I think about it, I realise that hey, surely these people would have already decided who they were gonna vote for and not just change their mind over the fact that their original preference lacks technology on the ground!

Those few hours of voluntary work at the pondok panas will be forever etched in my memory. I hadn’t given it much thought on the day itself – since we weren’t expecting the Opposition to win, let alone deny BN the two-thirds.

That night I was at a concert with my friends and I remember after the concert was over, I received a few messages from my dad regarding results and that the candidates in our constituency had won for state and parliament seats. I was glad – and that was it really, because at that point I was still not too optimistic about our chances.

Then on the way back home we pumped up the radio, and results were flooding in – it was amazing, the upsets, the drama. It was as if we had won.

One year on, some things have changed, and of course there have been many others which still remain the same. Najis is still gonna be PM come next month. UMNO is as dirty as ever. The race card is still being played everywhere.

But on March 8, 2008, I really did feel there was hope.

And surely – surely – there still has to be.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009


Because of the above natural phenomena, I am resigned to having to blog about absolutely nothing at all in college.

If only I had just extended my hand, and pulled it out.

Sigh. Such timing.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009


So not too many surprises at the Oscars.

As many of you know, the overrated Slumdog Millionaire swept everyone away by winning 80% of their nominations - well, more like 8 awards out of 9, since they had two nominations for Best Original Song. As expected.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button meanwhile won only 3 awards out of 13 nominations. Sean Penn won the Best Actor award for his portrayal as Harvey Milk, a gay activist in Milk, and Kate Winslet in The Reader returned to the fore as Best Actress. Vicky Cristina Barcelona's Penelope Cruz won the Best Supporting Actress while the late Heath Ledger was given the Best Supporting Actor recognition for his role as the menacing Joker in The Dark Knight.

But most of the talk has been about the rags-to-riches story of Slumdog Millionaire, which snapped up top awards like Best Picture, Best Director, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Sound Mixing, Best Original Score (yes, A. R. Rahman accepted two awards in a row, sandwiched by a vocal performance too) amongst others. At times, this actually started to make the Oscars feel boring, despite the fact that this year, the ceremony was shorter (it didn't quite feel shorter though) and there were less presenters on show.

I mean, this film initially wasn't even going to make it to the big screen. That aside, the British-Bollywood combination really got the Americans jumping up and down, leading to its huge success there.

A few weeks ago I watched Slumdog, and I honestly thought it was good - but certainly not Best Picture material. Looks like quite a lot of people agree with me on that. But then again, perhaps it is the best out of the five films nominated in the biggest category. Perhaps.

Thus, I'm on a mission to watch all the movies nominated for Best Picture - Slumdog Millionaire, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon, The Reader and Milk. Thus far I have already seen Slumdog, Milk, and am currently watching Benjamin Button as I write.

We'll see how it goes. Movies time.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Chamber Music Excursions.

Interested? There's more.

This was before the name of the project was changed.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


Nude photos of celebs. There was Miley Cyrus. Vanessa Hudgens.

Sex videos of celebs. Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson among them.

Now, in our very own country, photos of Selangor state assemblyman Elizabeth Wong in the nude are being circulated.

Or should I say 'former' state assemblyman.

Oh no, it sure doesn't end there. Eight days ago in Sussex, England, 15 year-old Chantelle Steadman gave birth to Maise Roxanne. Who's the father? 13 year-old Alfie Patten.

Raja Petra Kamaruddin has another week of freedom. After which, I dare say, albeit pessimistically, he will be back in Kamunting and after self refusing food and drink and human contact, we may well say a final farewell to him.

I've been waiting to say this. Yep, wait for it -

Wait for it -

Wait for it -



Oh sorry. We're on air?

Alright, yeah, you could edit that right?

Ahem, ahem, so good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to 'A Tragic Glimpse Into Reality' FM. I'm your host Eek Tabej and there seems to be quite a bit of craziness happening in the wor -

For crying out loud Alfie Patten, what the fuck were you thinking, asshole? You were 12 fucking years-old when you fucked that Chantelle girl. Nine months later, how does that make you more of a man than you were before?

And Chantelle? You're screwed too! I mean, sleeping with EIGHT guys around the same time you got pregnant, at 15? Holy shmoley.

Richard Goodsell? 16 years-old bastard who DEMANDS a DNA test to prove he's the father? Fuck off dude. Get a life! Go study or something! belajar rajin rajin jadi doktor.

14 year old Tyler Barker? You deserve to fear you may have fathered the child. And mother of Tyler? YOU ACTUALLY THINK YOUR SON THINKS HE FATHERED THE CHILD? WHERE ARE YOUR VALUES AND WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN TEACHING HIM?

And you just wouldn't expect to hear this from the 13 year-old Playstation playing kid, Alfie, would you:

"We wanted to to have the baby but were worried how people would react. I didn't know what it would be like to be a dad. I will be good, though, and care for it."

Sigh. Kids these days.
If you are a Malaysian, thinking that the political scenario in our country couldn't get any worse, sorry mate, cause you're fucking wrong.

I don't think Elizabeth Wong had much of a choice when she stepped down as Bukit Lanjan assemblyman today. It is crystal clear that cruel tactics had been used on her to attack her politically and personally.

But if Barisan keeps this up, and gets Opposition assemblymen out, causing by-elections to take place, what do they expect from the by-elections? Are the people going to vote Barisan instead? They obviously don't use their brains!

On the other hand, even if the Opposition wins the by-elections coming up, what would it prove? What would be the implications? We would just have to wait for the next general election, and by then, things may well have changed. RPK may not be here anymore to help in our struggle. People may completely lose faith in the Opposition; as it is, they are starting to lose faith in it now.

And the Altantuya hearing? April 9. Well well, no surprise there. Najis would have become the Prime Criminal Minister of this country by then.

What is the point in all of this?

I myself can't answer that. Such is the situation we Malaysians are faced with.


Alright, are we good for time? Did we make it?

Great, time to let off some steam again


Thursday, February 12, 2009


Sometimes, I feel as if I am the master of delayed gratification. Sometimes, I believe very much in what all those people tell you when you watch the documentary 'The Secret.'

Note the sometimes.

So imagine this, you know you're pretty good at something. Okay, that's very subjective isn't it.

Fine, so let's say this thing that you're good at is your forte, even though you may not be the best in your field. But the point is you know that you are of a certain standard. That's enough in itself, because I never said you had to think highly of yourself. You are merely NOT short-changing yourself, just identifying your own personal ability, which may be unique to others.

So you find yourself selected as second best, behind the leader. So you remain humble. Deep down you know that you deserve better, but no, you're not gonna shout out to the whole world what you think and how you feel. At the most, you tell your friends who understand you best. Patience is a virtue, they say. And you believe in it. And you wait.

And then it just happens. After quietly visualizating, it happens. You are rewarded for your patience, humility, and of course the basic thing - capability. Someone believes in you. Someone trusts you can do it. Someone has seen the light.

That, my friend, is the art of delayed gratification. You don't rush into something, because if you do, you'll end up falling all over the place. If you know how to keep your cool, while showing respect and looking up to others who are more senior than you, then you will understand how the world works, how the law of attraction works. You try not to think negatively. If you have a negative thought, replace it with something else, to compensate for its possibility of existence.

So yes, it would be outright stupid if I were to say that I'm just talking nonsense right now, because yes, this did happen to me. At this moment, I fell that's the best way to describe the experience.

And boy, does it feel good.

Saturday, February 7, 2009


Money money money,
must be funny,
in a rich man's world.

Bota assemblyman Nasarudin? Idiot. Where's his integrity? Says he ain't gonna change his mind. Next thing you know, after some money is waved in his face, he's back with them.

Politics in Malaysia nowadays is simply appalling. If you've got the cash, you've got the stash.

Barisan might as well just fucking buy over everyone and take the four states Pakatan are left with, and rule the whole country just how it used to be, right? After all, they're so fucking loaded, offering LCD TVs and DVD players and what not to win people's support for the by-election in KT. But hey fuckers, look what happened! You fucking lost in KT, that's what! You fucking lost in your own stronghold! So if there were to be fresh elections in Perak, without a doubt you'd fucking lose too!

Then there are people who also start losing faith in Pakatan. Apparently, both Barisan and Pakatan are assholes. I'm not denying that though. Come on, this is fucking politics. Can you trust a politician? Fully? Go ask a Pakatan supporter: Are you sure you can trust Anwar Ibrahim to the last fucking drop of your blood? He'd be damned if he said yes.

And those two corrupt fuckers? Left without a choice. They don't become BN friendly independents, they end up in court. They cross over? No fucking evidence.

What is the world coming to, eh? I don't know either. One thing's for sure. Once that fucking criminal Najib bin Altantuya comes into power as the goddamn Prime Minister, Malaysia is fucked.

Money money money,
must be funny,
in a rich man's world.

On a completely seperate note, don't you think there are be so many possible implications one could make about an audition which lasted less than 10 minutes long?

Sunday, February 1, 2009


My audition is in three days.


I just realised something last night. In 2008 alone, I had not one, not two, not three, but FOUR different music teachers. Three Europeans, one Chinese. It sure was a topsy-turvy year of indecision, anxiety and what not. But at the end of it all, I dare say I've landed in a spot where I'm most comfortable.

Having a lesson with each different teacher was a unique experience altogether. From each, I learned something technically or expressively different. Gosh I'm finding this so hard to explain. Bottom line is, I managed to improve my playing in various ways according to the teacher I was having a lesson with.

For example, one teacher helped me improve my general intonation and sound. Another helped improve the flexibility of the right hand and fingers. Then I also improved in the area of bow efficiency and usage. Lastly, the sub-conscious lifting of fingers which I picked up from another teacher helped improve my left hand passages.

Sure, I'm not perfect and never will be, but in the past year I myself am aware that I have gone a few notches up in terms of quality of individual playing, let alone ensemble.

Let's just hope that the many different things I have learnt from different teachers will carry on in the foreseeable future.


The Star Review no. 3 is out HERE.

Thursday, January 29, 2009


Remember this movie?

Well of course, who wouldn't.

No I'm not here to talk about the movie, or Leo DiCaprio, or Kate Winslet.

There have been various theories as to why the Titanic sank. We all know it as: the side of the ship hit an iceberg, water flowed in, within hours, it sank. After some deeper research I conducted yesterday, it's extremely interesting to find out various aspects of the incident, both scientifically and spiritually.

Perhaps the most popular alternative theory is that the ship sank due to a mummy's curse. To me the fascinating thing is that this 'theory', which is of course false, caused other stories to arise, making the topic more and more convoluted and complex.
Here is the excerpt from a book published in 1992, called Amazing Spooks and Mysteries by Peter Edlin:

The Mummy's Curse

In 1910, Douglas Murray, an Englishman, bought an ancient Egyptian mummy-case in Cairo. The case had contained the mummified body of a princess who had lived in Thebes in 1600 BC. Just a few hours after he had purchased the case, the American who had sold it to him died mysteriously. Following the American's death, Douglas Murray learned that the princess had been a member of a powerful religious cult and she had placed a dreadful curse on anyone who dared to disturb her final resting place.

Murray was an experienced Egyptologist and he had learned many stories of curses, so he paid very little attention. But then, a few days later, he was on a shooting expedition when his gun went off in his hands. He was so badly injured that his arm had to be amputated from his elbow. Then, on the journey back to England, two of Murray's companions died suddenly. A few months later, two of his Egyptian workers also died in mysterious circumstances.

Murray decided that he must get rid of the accursed mummy-case, and a lady offered to buy it from him. Almost immediately, her mother died, and then her boyfriend left her. When, eventually, she fell desperately ill, her lawyer persuaded her to return the mummy-case to Douglas Murray.

Murray presented the case to the British Museum, where a photographer and an Egyptologist both suddenly died. Finally, a New York museum agreed to take the case and it was shipped to America on a new, 'unsinkable' ship - called the Titanic. The Titanic hit an iceberg and sank, taking with her almost 1500 people - and the dreaded mummy's curse.

So there you have it. That's one version. Apparently the princess was in actual fact the Princess of Amen-Ra. According to some sources, the best documented version of this tale never mentions Douglas Murray. In other instances, it is portrayed that the ghost story was originally concocted by two Englishmen named William Stead and Douglas Murray.

Stead and Murray crafted an elaborate horror story about a mummy that was brought to England and set up in their drawing room. The morning after, everything breakable in the room was destroyed. Some time after they invented their mummy tale, they were visiting the First Egyptian Room of the British Museum and noticed the coffin lid of the Priestress of Amun. They concocted yet another story that the look of terror and anguish in the face depicted on the coffin lid indicated that the coffin's original occupant was a tormented soul, and her evil spirit was now loose in the world.

This is an excerpt from a source describing the situation when the mummy case was at the British Museum:

The staff at the museum reported hearing loud banging and crying noises coming from the coffin at night. Things were thrown around the exhibit room without explanation. Finally a watchman died. Then a photographer took a photo of the coffin. When he developed it, the image that appeared was so horrifying that the photographer killed himself.

Other sources depict this famous scenario after the photographer had killed himself:

Soon afterwards, the museum sold the mummy to a private collector. After continual misfortune (and deaths), the owner banished it to the attic. A well-known authority on the occult, Madame Helena Blavatsky, visited the premises. Upon entry, she was sized with a shivering fit and searched the house for the source of "an evil influence of incredible intensity." She finally came to the attic and found the mummy case.

"Can you exorcise this evil spirit?" asked the owner.

"There is no such thing as exorcism. Evil remains evil forever. Nothing can be done about it. I implore you to get rid of this evil as soon as possible."

But no British museum would take the mummy; the fact that almost 20 people had met with misfortune, disaster or death from handling the casket, in barely 10 years, was now well known.

The truth is that the Priestess Amun coffin lid (British Museum item No. 22542) is still sitting quietly in the British Museum's second Egyptian room, where it can be seen today.

Another twist to the tale presents us with this:

On the 12th April 1912 the Titanic was crossing the Atlantic on her way to New York on her maiden voyage. All seemed to be going well on the voyage. A group of eight people gathered in the first class smoking room to discuss the meaning of life.

One of the group was William T Stead, the English journalist and spiritualist. As the evening progressed Stead began to tell a ghost story which would open the flood gates to legends and myths surrounding the Titanic and her sinking for decades to follow.

He boasted that he was not superstitious as he pointed out that his story began before midnight on the 12th April and ended shortly after midnight. The story concerned the finding of an Egyptian Mummy and the translation of the inscription on the Mummy's case. The inscription warned that whoever should verbally recite the inscription would meet a very violent death.

The seven other members listened with sinister curiosity. Could Stead have been serious? Was there such a curse? Where was the Mummy - surely not onboard the ship they were travelling on?

Seven men out of the eight went down with the ship, including Stead himself although he had already had a premonition about his death some time before. The only survivor from the group was Fred Seward, who later when asked about the Mummy story told them that he would never dare retell it.

There was no Mummy on board the Titanic. The only Mummy in question was the Priestess of Amen-Ra. Her coffin lid did not leave its display in the British Museum and so was never onboard the Titanic.

However, the British Museum was never presented with the actual Mummy. Mr Taylor and the Egyptian Artefacts team think it is most probable that the Priestess' remains were left behind in Egypt. It is perhaps this fact that William Stead used to concoct his macabre tale.

Convoluted? Sure is. See what I mean?

After such an incident like the sinking of the Titanic occurs, what would usually happen is that the investigators will find out how the particular incident could have been avoided. In the case of the Titanic, it has to do with the iceberg impact:

It has been speculated that the ship could have been saved if she had rammed the iceberg head on. It is hypothesised that if Titanic had not altered her course at all and instead collided head first with the iceberg, the impact would have been taken by the naturally stronger bow of the hull and damage would only have affected the first or, at most, first two compartments. This would have disabled her severely, and possibly caused casualties among the passengers near the front of the ship, but would not likely have resulted in sinking since Titanic was designed to float with the first four compartments flooded. Instead, the glancing blow to the starboard side of the ship caused buckling in the hull plates along the first five compartments, more than the ship's designers had allowed for.


Originally, historians thought the iceberg had cut a gash into Titanic's hull. Since the part of the ship that the iceberg damaged is now buried, scientists used sonar to examine the area and discovered the iceberg had caused the hull to buckle, allowing water to enter Titanic between her steel plates.

Yes, there are many other details but then this post would just become way too much of a headache, both for me and for you. So yeah, there it is.

Science and the supernatural.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009


How does one explain the following general assumptions:

Girls love chocolate, whereas not all guys do.

Guys are afraid of cockroaches, girls are scared of lizards.

Girls loathe egg yolk, while guys don't mind it.

There are bound to be more. Care to add to the list?

Saturday, January 24, 2009


As the year of the ox draws near, I begin to think about many things to expect (or to not expect) in the near future.

This is the year I make it, or break it. Well not really, but to a certain extent, it is so.

After completing secondary school and soon to be A-Levels, I will enter tertiary education. I will finally be in a programme I really will enjoy, regardless of the inevitable hard work, stress, difficulties and so on that awaits.

It's incredible how I can still remember the first day I was in Standard One. I had a few friends, but the one whom I remember the best was Nabil. To this day I will never forget his name, although I can't remember what he looked like then. It's amazing how 11 years have passed since then, and I am standing on the brink of the first part of real success, or failure of course.

I have always had the impression that the United States of America is a terribly overrated country. Fine, there's Hollywood and Barack Obama amongst other things but the one thing that really gets me is the fact that many Americans just don't know enough about the rest of the world. Ask any regular American citizen and you'll be extremely lucky if he knows where Malaysia is on the map. And that's just one thing they're completely ignorant about.

Sarah Palin said after casting her vote on Presidential Election Day: "I will not tell you who I voted for, because I believe that I have the right to keep my vote private." Fine, that's justified. Then, she went on: "That's what I think is so amazing about America, the democracy." When I heard that, I was like, hello woman, you're not the only democratic country in the world. My mother herself refused to tell us who she voted for one year during elections. And she's just one citizen of this country.

Still, there is no denying that America is certainly the land of opportunities. One can definitely go far if things go right for him or her.

I made up my mind I want to study there. That was how I felt a few months ago. Now? I'm not as sure as I was before.

As some of you know I auditioned for Yong Siew Toh, Singapore last year in March. Obviously I didn't get in, if not I wouldn't be typing this now. After hearing stories which I shall not discuss here, from friends in YST, I became less and less keen on becoming a student there in the future.

But now I'm starting to look at things realistically. No, I'm not saying I want to study in YST.

But do note that I'm not saying I want to study in the US either.

Come on, I'm only 17 years old. I'll be 18 this year. Something struck me a few weeks ago. Maybe I'm not ready to leave to study in a country so far away. I've started THINKING again. And I mean really thinking. At this point in time, I can't really tell you where I'd rather go to study music.

This has to be the biggest thing that will happen to me this year of the ox.

My audition for YST is in one and a half weeks. My audition for the Asian Youth Orhestra is in three weeks. The first camp of the new MPYO season begins in six weeks. I start receiving my offers (if I get any, that is) in something like 10 weeks. Before you know it, it's fall 2009.

The music continues.

My god. Mindless ranting again.

Mocha Java Kee Wira Bulat. I miss him.

Thursday, January 22, 2009


I can't believe what I just realised.

On Sunday morning, as I was reading the newspaper, I was surprised to find my review for the Twilight Soundtrack in the Variety section, so soon anyway. I was further surprised to see the rating I had given it: 3 stars, instead of the 2 stars I remember very clearly. Then I thought to myself: "Well, I was after all contemplating whether to give it 2 or 3," and I just left it.

Barely 10 minutes ago, I opened the word document I had used for the review. My jaw dropped.

The soundtrack deserved 2 stars, and that's the exact number of stars I had given it. That was the exact number I had put in the review. That was the exact number I saw in the word document.

But that was not the number which appeared out in the paper.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009


Today was an interesting day.

Had the chance to play some viola duos with Andrew. Learnt about many things involving music, local music society, amongst other things. Also got a new (well not really new) distraction to do with my left hand fingers which I have really, really started worrying about. =\

Got a call from AUNTY AUDREY HO about an upcoming chamber concert which will feature Dvorak's American Quartet in its entirety!

The String Hoppers reunite!

And I'm one of the players!


Okay, stay positive now. It may be in June, which might be a crazy month in terms of things NOT to do with music and which may include my inability to make it for what MIGHT be my last MPYO camp, but I will play in the quartet. I will.


Looking forward to the next camp, although I barely know the repertoire apart from Beethoven 5, Blue Danube and OMG E.T.! YES! Duncan you must be overjoyed we're playing Mahler 5. If I'm not mistaken the Adagietto was the one you had on your blog music player right? Great stuff.

Worried about the viola section in terms of numbers though. We really need fresh blood next camp, and ADEQUETE AT THE LEAST THEY MUST BE! Gosh there are so many jokes out there, dissing violists. And it's funny how violists themselves can laugh at themselves (e.g. me) when telling or listening to the jokes.

This must have been one of the most random posts ever. And the fact that I'm actually blogging about what's happening in my life wtf. What happened to that vow eh?

Now on to my toughest review yet, Dave Koz.

Yeah you know, the guy who you can hear saying something along the lines of: "This is Dave Koz, and you're listening to Light FM".


So there's a string quartet in a football field.

At each corner of the field, there are the four players - 1st violinist, 2nd violinist, violist, and cellist.

50 bucks - thrown into the middle of the field. Yeah, right in the circle.

Who's gonna get there first?

The cellist, of course!


Well, the 1st violinist ain't gonna budge, why would he be so desperate for a measly 50 bucks?

The 2nd violinist ain't budging either, why would he make a move without the 1st violinist making a move himself?

And the violist?



Sunday, January 18, 2009


Sometimes, there are so many things to blog about at one time. Today I felt as if there was inspiration to write about first and foremost Manchester City's insane bid for Kaka, my thoughts after watching the programme 'The Secret' the other day, the Kuala Terengganu by-election, last minute loss of tickets for a concert I was really looking forward to and several other things which I can't seem to remember - there were so many.

There are so many things I have been thinking about recently, and because of the sheer volume of thought, my mind has become so ahdcoepbmsocmfuckingvkaoxcekcrazyqpxkl. So instead of blogging about those issues, I'll leave this link for all ye Twilight fans.

Click here.

Thursday, January 15, 2009


Got this off Dexter's blog, not as if he tagged me, but what the heck.

Found it quite interesting, slightly different from your usual tag. I'll modify it a little by adding some description to the statement for some.

The rules:

Bold the statements that are true to you.
Italise the statements that you WISH are true.
Leave the Fibs alone.

I miss somebody right now.

I dont watch TV these days.

I own lots of books. (not personally, but my house is filled with books.)

I wear glasses or contact lenses.

I've tried marijuana.

I have been in a threesome.

I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.

I believe honesty is usually the best policy. (USUALLY, haha)

I curse sometimes.

I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.

I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.

I'm TOTALLY smart.

I've broken someone's bones.

I'm paranoid sometimes. (quite often, actually)

I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.

I need money right now. (not really, but i wouldn't mind some)

I love sushi.

I talk really,really fast.

I have long hair.

I have lost money in Las Vegas. (haven't even been there)

I have at least one sibling.

I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.

I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.

I like the way I look. (sometimes!)

I am usually pessimistic. (i try to be as optimistic as i can)

I have a lot of mood swings. (not that much nowadays, though)

I have a hidden talent.

I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar i have.

I have a lot of friends.

I am currently single.

I have pecked someone of the same sex.

I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.

I love to shop. (this is fairly subjective, i must say)

I enjoy window shopping. (not really, cause i end up not buying anything, so yeah)

I don't hate anyone.

I dislike them.

I'm a pretty good dancer.

I have a cell phone.

I believe in God. (i don't have a religion, but i believe there is a god up there and i believe in him)

I watch MTV on a daily basis.

I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months. (haha, never been drunk, merely high!)

I've rejected someone before.

I have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life. (not fully sure, but at this age, no one is, right?)

I want to have children in the future.

I have changed a diaper before.

I've called the cops on a friend before. (that would've been fun)

I'm not allergic to anything. (at least i think i'm not)

I have a lot to learn.

I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger. (*cough* older *cough* XD)

I have tried alcohol before. (socially)

I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.

I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza. (the cheesy crust or whatever is like ZOMG)

I have used my sexuality to advance my career.

I watch Spongebob Squarepants and i like it. (haha, used to)

I have dated a close friends's ex.

I am happy at this moment!! (okay, very subjective again)

I'm obsessed with guys. (JUST JOKING)

I study for tests most of the time. (reluctantly)

I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.

I can work on a car. (i can't even drive dammit)

I am comfortable with who I am right now. (fairly, yeah)

I have more than just my ears pierced. (my ears aren't even pierced)

I spend ridiculous money on makeup.

I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.

I'm proficient in a musical instrument. (proficient enough)

I worked at McDonald's restaurant.

I hate office jobs.

I love sci-fi movies.

I went college out of state.

I like sausage.

I fall for the worst people.

I adore bright colours.

I can't live without black eyeliner.

I don't know why the hell i just did this stupid thing. (actually, not really)

I usually like covers better than originals.

I can pick up things with my toes. (very few things haha)

I can't whistle.

I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither.

I have ridden/owned a horse. (yeah, a horse which threw me off)

I still have every journal I've ever written in.

I can't stick to a diet. (well, not as if i actually DIET DIET, but yeah, still)

I talk in my sleep. (the other night i was having a dream where people were making me feel extremely frustrated, and i woke up shouting "FUCK YOU ALL")

I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.

I have jazz in my blood.

I wear a toe ring.

I have a tattoo. (probably never gonna get one)

I am a caffeine junkie.

I will collect anything, and the more nonsesical, the better.

I only clean my room when necessary.

I love being happy. (dood, who the hell doesn't)

I am an adrenaline junkie

Tuesday, January 13, 2009


And I thought I won't be listening to metal anytime soon.

Nah, not really. I haven't been, it's just that I've noticed ever since I added the HTML link for the live traffic feed on my blog, there have been some visitors from all over the WORLD arriving at my post: SHROUDED DIVINE Review. I gave the album 4 and a half stars.

I decided to check up on the Swedish progressive death metal band In Mourning, which produced the exceptional album Shrouded Divine, and found out that my favourite song on the record, The Black Lodge was named best metal song of 2008 and the album itself was listed among the top 20 of the year. I was really surprised to find out about this cause In Mourning are such an unknown band (which is good, of course), but I feel glad that such talent is recognised instead of your usual Triviums, Avenged Sevenfold (they're not even metal ok Kit Leong), and other 'great' bands.

So yeah, just a little discovery of sorts, to find people from other continents visiting my blog for this particular reason.

Sunday, January 11, 2009


This man was pure genius.

Antonín Leopold Dvořák was a Czech composer of Romantic music, who employed the idioms and melodies of the folk music of Moravia and his native Bohemia. His works include operas, symphonic, choral and chamber music. His best-known works include his New World Symphony (particularly the slow movement), as well as his Slavonic Dances, American String Quartet, and Cello Concerto in B minor.

For more about Dvořák, visit

I am proud to have had the opportunity to actually play a few of Dvořák's famous works.

May last year it was the American String Quartet in F major with Jia Rong, Lu Ee and Dylan. A month ago, the stunning Cello Concerto in B minor with the MPYO, with MPO cellist Tan Poh Joo as soloist. Previously, Symphony No. 8 and of course, one of the most well known symphonies of all time, Symphony No. 9 (New World Symphony), both of which were with the MPYO, of course. Every time I play a work by Dvořák, the enthusiasm is always there.

Just watch/listen to these. Pure awesomeness.

Okay, some of you may already know this. Dvořák composed concerti for piano, cello and violin. So did he play either of the three instruments? Well, violin, yes. But primarily what did he play?