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Friday, March 27, 2009


As musicians, we wonder if our major instrument is really the instrument meant for us individually. It's very hard to tell, but I have come to my own conclusion of my major instrument.

The viola is the tenor-alto instrument. Since it is known as the 'middle voice' of the string section, I came to realise that it is after all the instrument which "fits me like a glove" (quote Kevin Field).

Since I was young, whenever I listened to songs, whatever genre they may be, I've always sung along with a song, mostly harmonising with the main melody line. During the time with my band, I used to be the one doing harmonising vocals. I could always improvise with harmonic lines to fit in with a song. That, I suppose, transcends to me playing of the viola.

My teacher told me once, which goes something along the lines of: "in an orchestra, the string parts for the viola may not be as interesting or melodic, since the first violins usually get the best bits. The idea is to enjoy the sound that you make when you play the viola while the other sections have the nicer parts."

I've learnt to accept the importance of the viola, and learned to feel the empowering harmony that the instrument brings to an ensemble. Such an experience it has been so far.

Two schools down. Six to go.

I was meant to do this.

Remember to turn off your lights, kids.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

In Your Dreams.

Last night, I dreamt that Najis didn't become PM.

You know how your dreams can be very vague. This one was no different. I kind of remember something like the reason being he had finally been found guilty of his involvement with the Altantuya case.

But he was still DPM.

But we were still laughing our heads off.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Deja vu.

In life,

There is so much to reflect on,

And there is so much not to reflect on.

In life,

There are so many things to be proud of and grateful for,

While there are so many things to be not proud of and grateful for.

In life,

There is so much to look forward to,

Yet there is so much to not look forward to.

In life,

There are so many things that one can't wait for,

As there are so many things that one can wait for.

In life,

There is so much we wish we could do,

And there is so much we wish we don't have to do.

Back to the grind.

Saturday, March 14, 2009


This morning at 7:55 am, I received an e-mail with the first line saying:

Hello Jebat,
Congratulations on your admission to the Eastman School of Music!

Let's hope this is the beginning of more to come!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

365 days ago.

If you were to ask someone what they did exactly a year ago, on that very day, chances are they wouldn’t be able to remember.

Some situations are excluded of course – for instance they would surely remember what they did if it was the date of their birthday, a cousin’s wedding, the day a friend passed on, the first time someone had sex

For me, I remember what happened on March 8, 2008.

My sister and I walked out of the house, down to the nearby school. We met the people at the pondok panas, who gave us incredibly huge PKR shirts to put on. To work.

Some cars were driving by, people walking to the school, getting ready to vote. People came up to us asking us to check whether they were at the right polling station. I don’t remember all too clearly, but the bottom line was we had to point these people to the BN pondok panas – where they had computers to check in the database.

Whenever we had no choice but to tell these people to go over to the BN side, I kept thinking to myself: “Shit, we’re gonna lose voters at this rate.” Now that I think about it, I realise that hey, surely these people would have already decided who they were gonna vote for and not just change their mind over the fact that their original preference lacks technology on the ground!

Those few hours of voluntary work at the pondok panas will be forever etched in my memory. I hadn’t given it much thought on the day itself – since we weren’t expecting the Opposition to win, let alone deny BN the two-thirds.

That night I was at a concert with my friends and I remember after the concert was over, I received a few messages from my dad regarding results and that the candidates in our constituency had won for state and parliament seats. I was glad – and that was it really, because at that point I was still not too optimistic about our chances.

Then on the way back home we pumped up the radio, and results were flooding in – it was amazing, the upsets, the drama. It was as if we had won.

One year on, some things have changed, and of course there have been many others which still remain the same. Najis is still gonna be PM come next month. UMNO is as dirty as ever. The race card is still being played everywhere.

But on March 8, 2008, I really did feel there was hope.

And surely – surely – there still has to be.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009


Because of the above natural phenomena, I am resigned to having to blog about absolutely nothing at all in college.

If only I had just extended my hand, and pulled it out.

Sigh. Such timing.