A Tragic Glimpse into Reality.

Bowdoin.

2010-07-22T00:14:00.002+08:00

I haven't posted any videos in awhile!

Side.

2009-10-26T00:19:00.001+08:00

It's been awhile.

948.

2009-09-23T09:38:00.002+08:00

If you ever feel what you're feeling is so wrong, yet something, or someone deep inside of you tells you different - that it's so right - never give up.

It's worth it.

Back.

2009-08-21T10:53:00.002+08:00

I have to sleep.

I have to practise.

I have to practise.

I HAVE TO PRACTISE!

And it's not very likely I'll get to do the above for the whole of next week.

At least I'm going home.

Excitement.

2009-07-19T23:24:00.006+08:00

At this rate, the next four years are gonna go be over in a flash.

I can hardly believe it has been already a week since I got to Singapore. A whole week of practising, registering, exploring, socialising, and doing other what-nots is over, and boy oh boy it sure doesn't end there!

Begin.

2009-07-12T01:07:00.000+08:00

I type this as I am half stoned.

The time has come.

I bid my goodbyes.

The adventure begins.

Beautiful.

2009-07-05T12:16:00.008+08:00

I love Weeds.

And how can you not fall in love with Mary-Louise Parker?

I have never cried this much when watching a movie.

Constant.

2009-07-02T18:00:00.007+08:00

CONVERSE SHOES ...

NEVER GO OUT OF FASHION.

Salute.

2009-06-30T13:19:00.004+08:00

First impressions can be an absolute bitch sometimes.

I've realised a couple of things in the last few days - people, including myself, are too quick to jump to conclusions about other people or issues. If they're not lucky, they will always have the same thoughts.

Here I am at the crossroads of life, about to enter music tertiary education, which a somewhat solid, basic music foundation behind me already. Having learned music for more than a decade surely has got me somewhere at least.

My point here is related to a concert which I watched a few days ago. I had very high expectations of Chuanyun Li, the solo violinist of the night. I emerged from the concert hall after, and felt disappointed. There were so many things about his performance that I could criticise - in particular his interpretation of the piece he played.

Barely a day later, I had second thoughts. Who am I to criticise? Who am I to judge? I'm no expert. And I also realised that he is one musician who really goes for it, who really takes the risk, who has fresh interpretations, plus who is a little cuckoo (quite cuckoo, actually) - and these are the qualities which are so important in a musician. It's not about whether the audience likes the interpretation or not. After all, you can't please everyone in this world. You're bound to have fans and haters.

Speaking of fans and haters, people have been asking - will Michael Jackson be remembered as a legend or a whacko? I bet there are lots of people out there who will remember him as the latter. Of course the majority of the world will remember him as a legend.

When the news came out, I was skeptical. I honestly can't explain why, but I figured I was too influenced by all that conspiracy of him being already dead and what not.

In the last few days, I've come to accept the fact that Michael Jackson is dead, and yes - he will remain a legend to me. No one can deny what he has brought to this world. I can still remember being on that stage with him back when I was a kid.

Last weekend I played a solo performance and decided to do a Michael Jackson medley - and after actually performing it in public it really did strike me.

Back to the topic of interpretation, there are bound to be people who dislike one's interpretation of a song, piece or whatsoever. I'm prepared for that, with this video.

Conspiracy.

2009-06-26T13:02:00.005+08:00

Michael Jackson is dead.

The King of Pop. Dead.

Or is he?

In this day and age, celebrities are worshipped as Gods, degraded like pimps and whores, or criticised to no end. Either that or people simply start spreading rumours about them - good or bad. The latter is more common of course

So when I found out this morning that MJ was dead, I thought to myself, "Come on. Really?"

I was told of a conspiracy theory some time back, that MJ was actually already dead back in the 80s, buried in his synthetic world of Neverland, and that the MJ of the last two decades was an impersonator. Sounds familiar?

Now that MJ is 'really' dead, people are also starting possible conspiracy theories about his death. Just to give one example, some say the media 'killed' him off for reasons unknown (as a distraction, some say), while others argue saying that all celebrities are mortals too - and that he died of a normal death.

Me? I really don't know, and like many others out there probably never will. On Facebook I see this 'Signing the Memorial for Michael Jackson'. I decided not to sign it cause after all, what difference could I make, since I myself am still at the stage of massaging my chin over the issue.

***

Megan Fox is a man.

The hottt Megan Fox. A man.

Or is she?

After watching the first installment of Transformers, the majority of males were going crazy about the newest, hottest thing in town - Megan Fox.

Honestly, I'm no big fan. Even back then I could tell there was something fishy - about her face.

Some months ago, it was reported that Megan Fox is a man, or 'was a man', I should say. There it was - the whole blow up of a story talking about how Mitchell Reed Fox was helped by his parents at a young age to undergo the sex change as the potential was in him to become a star - as a female.

Someone just too jealous of her or something, maybe? Who knows.

The video (which I find both kinda stupid and hilarious) I'm about to post up here explores the CGI which the crew of Transformers use on Megan Fox herself. So guys, the Megan Fox you see in Transformers isn't the natural Megan Fox. Search for the video where she jokes (does she really?) that she is a man and that she is either a tranny or a doppelganger for Alan Alda. That's where you can really see that Megan Fox is merely hot - not beautiful. Gosh, her face.

Then again if you are one of those guys who jerks off to Megan Fox everyday, you are completely entitled to calling me an idiot for simply bringing up the topic on whether she is a man.

See how things work?

Makan.

2009-06-23T20:49:00.010+08:00

I love food.

I love to eat food.

I love to eat a lot of food.

When I leave this country in less than three weeks, I am going to miss Malaysian food, in particular my favourite food in the world - BANANA LEAF RICE.

And coming back from Penang after three days there is going to remind me even more of how much I will miss Malaysian hawker food.

Yes, it is not very flattering for me to know that all that gluttony in the last few days has made me gain even more weight (damn, I've already put on so much weight in the last 18 months), but heck, I love to eat. My family loves to eat. Who cares.

At least Singapore has pretty decent chicken rice, and I'm sure I will discover other yummy stuff to eat. Either that, or this may be the start of a good chance for me to lose weight.

The countdown begins.

End?

2009-06-18T23:10:00.003+08:00

It still hasn't sunk in.

Pre-university life is over. 18 months of mixed feelings throughout, mostly negative however.

Boy am I glad it has all finally come to an end.

Here comes the real tertiary education stage.

Am I ready? I hope so.

Eight hours ago, another chapter of my life closed.

In 25 days, another will open its doors for me to explore further.

Now that - will be the real beginning - of life.

Colour.

2009-06-14T21:26:00.004+08:00

Yuri Bashmet and the Moscow Soloists
Yuri Bashmet, viola and director

The first time I found out that Yuri Bashmet and the Moscow Soloists were coming to Singapore, I couldn't believe it and wanted to go so bad. The timing wasn't very good, since the concert was during my exam period.

Damn am I lucky that I managed to go for it. It was a truly amazing performance.

Right from the opening bars of the Holberg Suite by Grieg, I knew I was in for a treat. Watching the Moscow Soloists perform live is really something else. Yuri Bashmet himself said, "This orchestra has a very specific sound, a different sound – with a unique colour." I fully agree with him. The experience was close to indescribable.

And my god, listening to Yuri Bashmet live is something even bigger. One of the major highlights of the programme was Bruch's Kol Nidrei - and boy oh boy did was it absolutely stellar. I had goosebumps right from the first note he played. The thing about Bashmet is he really takes the risk. When he means sul pont, he really plays sul pont, and when he means sul tasto, he really, really, really plays sul tasto. Sublime. To say that he is my idol would be an understatement. Really.

The rest of the concert was equally engaging, especially the Tchaikovsky String Serenade. Tchaikovsky himself said that the piece was written for a 'large string ensemble' - which would normally mean the piece should be played by a full string section. Bashmet and the Moscow Soloists though defied that, and the end result was still brilliant. The Elegie was probably the best I've ever heard.

I'm still overwhelmed from last night. The superb balance within the ensemble, Bashmet's 'emotions-without-being-sticky', the excellent gestures shown by Bashmet by thanking each and every member - everything about last night was just great.

So, worth making a trip down to Singapore, right smack in the middle of exams?

You bet.

Solo.

2009-06-08T22:37:00.002+08:00

Decisions.

There have been so many decisions which I have had to make in my life.

I would have to say most of the BIG decisions have been made based on my gut feeling.

Thinking back, I would say one of the most recent decisions I've had to make is possibly the most significant one.

Just imagine, if you had to decide between A or B, and you chose the B, the path less traveled.

And it made all the difference.

Hype.

2009-05-25T10:56:00.003+08:00

Okay so Adam Lambert didn't win American Idol.

And although I thought he should've won, I have to admit it's not entirely fair for me to choose sides. After all, I did not follow Season 8. All I did was watch a couple of Adam Lambert videos and fall in love with him.

Okay not really fall in love with him but yeah you know what I mean.

No, this isn't about Adam Lambert. This is about the coolest thing I was told yesterday.

KRIS ALLEN PLAYED VIOLA IN HIS HIGH SCHOOL ORCHESTRA OMG SO COOL.

So yeah.

***

I'm finding it very hard to imagine that in less than 2 months, I will no longer be sleeping on my bed, in my room, in my house, in PJ, in Selangor, in Malaysia.

Dammit time passes too fast.

I'm so relieved that I did my last chemistry practical a few days ago. I mean, hello, the last one ever. EVER. At the same time, I MIGHT just miss it a bit. After all, practical became so much cooler in college.

And I can't believe that in 8 days, I'll be playing in perhaps the biggest concert I've ever played in my life.

United.

2009-05-16T23:54:00.005+08:00

During the recent game of Manchester United vs Tottenham Hotspur at Old Trafford, the commentator was saying: "... this is the best league in the world."

I fully agreed with him, and as United came back from 2-0 down to beat Spurs 5-2, there I was thinking, "if this is the best league in the world, and United are the best team in this league, then surely they are the best team in the world."

DAMN RIGHT THEY ARE.

***

On a completely different note,

June 2nd. June 7th.

Mark these dates in your calendar, and hurry along to the Box Office.

Now.

I said NOW.

Riot.

2009-05-13T22:47:00.002+08:00

It's been exactly 40 years.

What has this nation seen since then? Nothing much better.

Corruption.
The PM having a hand in murder.
Operasi Lalang.
The goyang kaki attitude.
Unfair quotas for scholarships.
A sleeping PM who sought advice from his son-in-law on how to run the country.
The NEP.
An 'angkasawan'.
UMNOcracy.
The greater progress of a neighbouring country which was once a part of us.
A double sodomy allegation (by now it should have a tagline: every 10 years).
The Judicial Crisis.
Mahathirism.
Countless deaths in National Service.
An MB-less state.
Animals in Parliament.
The Internal Security Act and everything surrounding the topic.

And the list goes on and on. Please don't hesitate to add on.

After all, I'm only this old to know the mere gist of what has happened thus far since May 13, 1969.

Schizophrenia.

2009-05-10T22:43:00.004+08:00

Chicken fries.

What?

Chicken fries.

WHAT?

Chicken burgers.

I thought you just said chicken fries.

Then why did you ask again?

I dunno. What the hell are chicken fries anyway? What's your problem?

I dunno.

What's your problem?

You.

What's wrong wi - WHAT?! But I thought you just said you didn't know what your problem was?

Then why did you ask again?

Geez.

Go to hell, would ya.

WHAT? But I just said geez - which stands for Jesus -

Precisely.

HUH? So?

You used his name to curse.

Would you consider that cursing?

Of course. Didn't I just say that?

Geez. You're stuck up.

Am I, now?

This is the result of intelligent randomization.

Goodbye.

2009-05-02T12:07:00.004+08:00

May 1st has passed.

Remember that 5%? Well, it's now reduced to nothing.

Sigh.

I will think about this every day of my life, for the next four years.

Or will I?

Paul Dateh.

2009-04-30T23:27:00.002+08:00

Now this is a great example of someone who dares to do be different.

Sit back and soak up the sheer awesomeness.

Plug.

2009-04-26T00:24:00.009+08:00

Forget Cicakman.

Forget 1957 Hati Malaya.

Enter:

SELL OUT! ($311.0u7!)

In cinemas May 7th

Sell Out! world-premiered at the Venice Film Festival in 2008 and won the Young Cinema Award for Altre Visioni. It also won the NETPAC Award at the Taipei Golden Horse Film Festival and has been invited to 13 international film festivals so far.

Starring: Jerrica Lai, Peter Davis, Kee Thuan Chye, Lim Teik Leong, Hannah Lo, Lee Szu Hung and Wong Wai Hoong.

Director and Writer: Yeo Joon Han

Synopsis:

Her name is Rafflesia Pong (Rafflesia=largest flower in the world, which reeks of animal carcass; Pong=stink). She’s a bottom-ranking arts show host who’s disillusioned with “those over-rated underachievers we call artists.” He’s Eric Tan (Eric=Eric, Tan=typical Chinese surname), a product designer who’s just about to learn that it doesn’t pay to be creative. They both work for FONY, a multinational conglomerate whose mission statement, copied from a Taiwanese company, is to be original.

In the face of such pressure, will Eric and Rafflesia retain their artistic integrityor will they finally sell out to fame, fortune or some other nasty thing that also starts with “F”?

***

Someone actually said he felt this was one his list of best movies of the year. Mind you, he didn't mean best MALAYSIAN movies, but best MOVIES.

Inspired.

2009-04-22T23:14:00.004+08:00

95%.

2009-04-18T12:37:00.003+08:00

How would you feel if you had no choice but to turn down an unbelievable opportunity to study in one of the top music schools in the world?

How would you feel if you had no choice but to give up on a chance to study with a renowned, caring and concerned teacher who actually contacts you first?

How would you feel if you had no choice but to think that all hope is lost of exploring a new culture and environment?

How would you feel if all of this was because life is unfair, and in this world only some people have enough money to study abroad?

How would you feel if, by having to decline this amazing offer, life would never be the way it should've been?

This 5% of hope which I have left is solely based on the number of days I have left, which in itself - doesn't make sense.

Turn-on.

2009-04-15T19:26:00.004+08:00

In stressful and somewhat demotivating times like this, it's nice to try and think of more positive things in life, such as -

Alexa Nikolas.

Yummy.

and

Celery juice.

The perfect tonic when you're not totally convinced by the current situation of your bowels. Bowels system.

Whatever.

Maybe I'm just sleepy.

Choice.

2009-04-14T22:19:00.003+08:00

The Final Breakdown:

Yong Siew Toh, National University of Singapore - accepted
Manhattan School of Music - rejected
Eastman School of Music, University of Rochester - accepted
New England Conservatory - rejected
College-Conservatory of Music, University of Cincinnati - accepted
Oberlin Conservatory, Oberlin College - waitlisted
School of Music, Western Illinois University - accepted

Not too bad, considering the fact that a few years ago, this might well have been impossible to even imagine.

Then again, impossible is nothing. Right?

Geez. Advertisements nowadays.

***

It has been a full month since I received the unbelievable news that I had been accepted into Eastman. When I applied to the schools in the US, I never had a first choice, but Eastman was definitely ranked among the top on my list.

One month on, and it looks as if the wonderful opportunity to study there is gradually fading away.

No, I do not want to be negative or pessimistic, and no, I do not want to give up hope, but in life, one must be REALISTIC. One must make the right choices when the going gets tough, when things don't fall into place, and just hope for a brighter tomorrow.

During this period of thought, I have been evaluating the pros and cons of studying at Eastman, or Yong Siew Toh, for that matter.

At the end of the day, I may well have to make a choice - to do the right thing.

Pity.

2009-04-11T12:18:00.002+08:00

I can't go for AYO.

I can't go for AYO.

I can't go for AYO.

I WANNA GO FOR AYO.

bah.

It's a sad, sad situation. I'm stuck with the decision of having to turn down the offer of joining the Asian Youth Orchestra this year. What a letdown, after being one of only two Malaysians accepted.

If I were to go for AYO's summer festival and tour, I can foresee that I would feel a little better about myself when I enter university. As it is now, I'll just be going in to university without the extra experience and knowledge.

Sigh, the sacrifices one has to make.

100.

2009-04-07T21:14:00.005+08:00

"... it is true that the Chinese and Indians lost their faith in us and this was clear during the March 8 elections... But I have met with many of them and spoken to them, and they are now more confident in us." - Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin.

Oh really?

Then how is it you guys could lose the two 'Bukits' - Bukit Gantang and Bukit Selambau, again? And, don't forget, by a bigger margin in both seats!

Come on, fuckers. Stop living in denial. Stop believing that the Chinese and the Indians are supporting you. Don't waste your breath by being so cock-sure about winning these by-elections. It's 4 out of 5 now, dicks.

And where was Malaysia's favourite pop star Mahathir, eh? Oh yes, of course, there he was, 'playing' at a gig in Bukit Gantang, drawing cheers from his fans, going "Hidup Tun! Hidup Mahathir!" Some of you, his cronies thought he'd make an impact on the results. Well you now know that he didn't. Would be interesting to see what he has to say tomorrow.

After all this, Badawi is sitting pretty at home, flipping the channels on TV, and thinking to himself, "Well, I shouldn't have anything to do with this, since Najib is now in charge."

Who knows? Maybe Mahathir will decide to take a swipe at you again, dude.

Today's moral of the story: If your maggi goreng is too, too pedas, don't fucking eat it.

No, I mean that, like, literally.

Toss-up.

2009-04-06T15:52:00.008+08:00

Eastman School of Music,

University of Rochester,

USA.

***

Yong Siew Toh Conservatory of Music,

National University of Singapore,

Singapore.

***

Where would you rather be?

Boleh.

2009-04-02T20:59:00.002+08:00

Malaysia ahh, really anything boleh wan la.

Bribe police? Boleh.

Political sex scandal boleh.

Goyang kaki and dapat scholarship memang boleh.

Super fucking dirty toilet pun boleh.

Yoga kena ban also boleh.

Double, triple parking boleh.

"Correct, correct, correct" pun boleh.

1.7 million ringgit worth of public funds for a screwed up politician's so called 'official trips' with his wife, three kids, and Indonesian maid mana boleh? Gila kah? MEMANG BOLEH!!

Never on time for anything - boleh.

"Ikut saja" pun boleh.

Buy and sell pirated DVDs, VCDs, itu boleh juga.

Buy over politicians to take over state government boleh. Biasa doh.

Never pay saman boleh.

Work 5 minutes, minum 2 hours? BOLEH!

Note the highlighted cases.

Well I thought my Moral Studies lecturer was a dumb fuck in some ways. Looks like he isn't that dumb after all.

Today in class, he was talking about the case of murder and it went something like this: "an eye for an eye is the common understanding of the issue. When you kill someone, you are sentenced to death. But in Malaysia, if you kill someone, you can become - Prime Minister."

DAMN RIGHT LA.

THAT 'S THE BEST THING I'VE HEARD IN A LONG TIME.

Too bad it's too late. Look who's gonna be sworn in tomorrow.

Get ready.

For destruction.

Power.

2009-03-27T13:46:00.002+08:00

As musicians, we wonder if our major instrument is really the instrument meant for us individually. It's very hard to tell, but I have come to my own conclusion of my major instrument.

The viola is the tenor-alto instrument. Since it is known as the 'middle voice' of the string section, I came to realise that it is after all the instrument which "fits me like a glove" (quote Kevin Field).

Since I was young, whenever I listened to songs, whatever genre they may be, I've always sung along with a song, mostly harmonising with the main melody line. During the time with my band, I used to be the one doing harmonising vocals. I could always improvise with harmonic lines to fit in with a song. That, I suppose, transcends to me playing of the viola.

My teacher told me once, which goes something along the lines of: "in an orchestra, the string parts for the viola may not be as interesting or melodic, since the first violins usually get the best bits. The idea is to enjoy the sound that you make when you play the viola while the other sections have the nicer parts."

I've learnt to accept the importance of the viola, and learned to feel the empowering harmony that the instrument brings to an ensemble. Such an experience it has been so far.

Two schools down. Six to go.

I was meant to do this.

Remember to turn off your lights, kids.

In Your Dreams.

2009-03-25T10:57:00.003+08:00

Last night, I dreamt that Najis didn't become PM.

You know how your dreams can be very vague. This one was no different. I kind of remember something like the reason being he had finally been found guilty of his involvement with the Altantuya case.

But he was still DPM.

But we were still laughing our heads off.

Deja vu.

2009-03-22T22:41:00.003+08:00

In life,

There is so much to reflect on,

And there is so much not to reflect on.

In life,

There are so many things to be proud of and grateful for,

While there are so many things to be not proud of and grateful for.

In life,

There is so much to look forward to,

Yet there is so much to not look forward to.

In life,

There are so many things that one can't wait for,

As there are so many things that one can wait for.

In life,

There is so much we wish we could do,

And there is so much we wish we don't have to do.

Back to the grind.

Early.

2009-03-14T11:58:00.003+08:00

This morning at 7:55 am, I received an e-mail with the first line saying:

Hello Jebat,
Congratulations on your admission to the Eastman School of Music!

Let's hope this is the beginning of more to come!

365 days ago.

2009-03-08T23:59:00.002+08:00

If you were to ask someone what they did exactly a year ago, on that very day, chances are they wouldn’t be able to remember.

Some situations are excluded of course – for instance they would surely remember what they did if it was the date of their birthday, a cousin’s wedding, the day a friend passed on, the first time someone had sex –

For me, I remember what happened on March 8, 2008.

My sister and I walked out of the house, down to the nearby school. We met the people at the pondok panas, who gave us incredibly huge PKR shirts to put on. To work.

Some cars were driving by, people walking to the school, getting ready to vote. People came up to us asking us to check whether they were at the right polling station. I don’t remember all too clearly, but the bottom line was we had to point these people to the BN pondok panas – where they had computers to check in the database.

Whenever we had no choice but to tell these people to go over to the BN side, I kept thinking to myself: “Shit, we’re gonna lose voters at this rate.” Now that I think about it, I realise that hey, surely these people would have already decided who they were gonna vote for and not just change their mind over the fact that their original preference lacks technology on the ground!

Those few hours of voluntary work at the pondok panas will be forever etched in my memory. I hadn’t given it much thought on the day itself – since we weren’t expecting the Opposition to win, let alone deny BN the two-thirds.

That night I was at a concert with my friends and I remember after the concert was over, I received a few messages from my dad regarding results and that the candidates in our constituency had won for state and parliament seats. I was glad – and that was it really, because at that point I was still not too optimistic about our chances.

Then on the way back home we pumped up the radio, and results were flooding in – it was amazing, the upsets, the drama. It was as if we had won.

One year on, some things have changed, and of course there have been many others which still remain the same. Najis is still gonna be PM come next month. UMNO is as dirty as ever. The race card is still being played everywhere.

But on March 8, 2008, I really did feel there was hope.

And surely – surely – there still has to be.

Fried.

2009-03-03T10:32:00.004+08:00

Because of the above natural phenomena, I am resigned to having to blog about absolutely nothing at all in college.

If only I had just extended my hand, and pulled it out.

Sigh. Such timing.

Fifty-percent.

2009-02-25T20:29:00.005+08:00

So not too many surprises at the Oscars.

As many of you know, the overrated Slumdog Millionaire swept everyone away by winning 80% of their nominations - well, more like 8 awards out of 9, since they had two nominations for Best Original Song. As expected.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button meanwhile won only 3 awards out of 13 nominations. Sean Penn won the Best Actor award for his portrayal as Harvey Milk, a gay activist in Milk, and Kate Winslet in The Reader returned to the fore as Best Actress. Vicky Cristina Barcelona's Penelope Cruz won the Best Supporting Actress while the late Heath Ledger was given the Best Supporting Actor recognition for his role as the menacing Joker in The Dark Knight.

But most of the talk has been about the rags-to-riches story of Slumdog Millionaire, which snapped up top awards like Best Picture, Best Director, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Sound Mixing, Best Original Score (yes, A. R. Rahman accepted two awards in a row, sandwiched by a vocal performance too) amongst others. At times, this actually started to make the Oscars feel boring, despite the fact that this year, the ceremony was shorter (it didn't quite feel shorter though) and there were less presenters on show.

I mean, this film initially wasn't even going to make it to the big screen. That aside, the British-Bollywood combination really got the Americans jumping up and down, leading to its huge success there.

A few weeks ago I watched Slumdog, and I honestly thought it was good - but certainly not Best Picture material. Looks like quite a lot of people agree with me on that. But then again, perhaps it is the best out of the five films nominated in the biggest category. Perhaps.

Thus, I'm on a mission to watch all the movies nominated for Best Picture - Slumdog Millionaire, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon, The Reader and Milk. Thus far I have already seen Slumdog, Milk, and am currently watching Benjamin Button as I write.

We'll see how it goes. Movies time.

Chamber Music Excursions.

2009-02-19T20:50:00.004+08:00

Interested? There's more.

This was before the name of the project was changed.

Clusterfuck.

2009-02-17T20:38:00.004+08:00

Nude photos of celebs. There was Miley Cyrus. Vanessa Hudgens.

Sex videos of celebs. Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson among them.

Now, in our very own country, photos of Selangor state assemblyman Elizabeth Wong in the nude are being circulated.

Or should I say 'former' state assemblyman.

Oh no, it sure doesn't end there. Eight days ago in Sussex, England, 15 year-old Chantelle Steadman gave birth to Maise Roxanne. Who's the father? 13 year-old Alfie Patten.

Raja Petra Kamaruddin has another week of freedom. After which, I dare say, albeit pessimistically, he will be back in Kamunting and after self refusing food and drink and human contact, we may well say a final farewell to him.

I've been waiting to say this. Yep, wait for it -

Wait for it -

Wait for it -

WHAT A CLUSTERFUCK.

***

WHAT A CLUSTERF -

Oh sorry. We're on air?

Alright, yeah, you could edit that right?

Ahem, ahem, so good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to 'A Tragic Glimpse Into Reality' FM. I'm your host Eek Tabej and there seems to be quite a bit of craziness happening in the wor -

For crying out loud Alfie Patten, what the fuck were you thinking, asshole? You were 12 fucking years-old when you fucked that Chantelle girl. Nine months later, how does that make you more of a man than you were before?

And Chantelle? You're screwed too! I mean, sleeping with EIGHT guys around the same time you got pregnant, at 15? Holy shmoley.

Richard Goodsell? 16 years-old bastard who DEMANDS a DNA test to prove he's the father? Fuck off dude. Get a life! Go study or something! belajar rajin rajin jadi doktor.

14 year old Tyler Barker? You deserve to fear you may have fathered the child. And mother of Tyler? YOU ACTUALLY THINK YOUR SON THINKS HE FATHERED THE CHILD? WHERE ARE YOUR VALUES AND WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN TEACHING HIM?

And you just wouldn't expect to hear this from the 13 year-old Playstation playing kid, Alfie, would you:

"We wanted to to have the baby but were worried how people would react. I didn't know what it would be like to be a dad. I will be good, though, and care for it."

Sigh. Kids these days.

***

If you are a Malaysian, thinking that the political scenario in our country couldn't get any worse, sorry mate, cause you're fucking wrong.

I don't think Elizabeth Wong had much of a choice when she stepped down as Bukit Lanjan assemblyman today. It is crystal clear that cruel tactics had been used on her to attack her politically and personally.

But if Barisan keeps this up, and gets Opposition assemblymen out, causing by-elections to take place, what do they expect from the by-elections? Are the people going to vote Barisan instead? They obviously don't use their brains!

On the other hand, even if the Opposition wins the by-elections coming up, what would it prove? What would be the implications? We would just have to wait for the next general election, and by then, things may well have changed. RPK may not be here anymore to help in our struggle. People may completely lose faith in the Opposition; as it is, they are starting to lose faith in it now.

And the Altantuya hearing? April 9. Well well, no surprise there. Najis would have become the Prime Criminal Minister of this country by then.

What is the point in all of this?

I myself can't answer that. Such is the situation we Malaysians are faced with.

***

Alright, are we good for time? Did we make it?

Great, time to let off some steam again.

WHAT A CLUSTERFUCK, CHICKS AND DICKS!

Hold.

2009-02-12T20:50:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, I feel as if I am the master of delayed gratification. Sometimes, I believe very much in what all those people tell you when you watch the documentary 'The Secret.'

Note the sometimes.

So imagine this, you know you're pretty good at something. Okay, that's very subjective isn't it.

Fine, so let's say this thing that you're good at is your forte, even though you may not be the best in your field. But the point is you know that you are of a certain standard. That's enough in itself, because I never said you had to think highly of yourself. You are merely NOT short-changing yourself, just identifying your own personal ability, which may be unique to others.

So you find yourself selected as second best, behind the leader. So you remain humble. Deep down you know that you deserve better, but no, you're not gonna shout out to the whole world what you think and how you feel. At the most, you tell your friends who understand you best. Patience is a virtue, they say. And you believe in it. And you wait.

And then it just happens. After quietly visualizating, it happens. You are rewarded for your patience, humility, and of course the basic thing - capability. Someone believes in you. Someone trusts you can do it. Someone has seen the light.

That, my friend, is the art of delayed gratification. You don't rush into something, because if you do, you'll end up falling all over the place. If you know how to keep your cool, while showing respect and looking up to others who are more senior than you, then you will understand how the world works, how the law of attraction works. You try not to think negatively. If you have a negative thought, replace it with something else, to compensate for its possibility of existence.

So yes, it would be outright stupid if I were to say that I'm just talking nonsense right now, because yes, this did happen to me. At this moment, I fell that's the best way to describe the experience.

And boy, does it feel good.

Money.

2009-02-07T15:12:00.004+08:00

Money money money,
must be funny,
in a rich man's world.

Bota assemblyman Nasarudin? Idiot. Where's his integrity? Says he ain't gonna change his mind. Next thing you know, after some money is waved in his face, he's back with them.

Politics in Malaysia nowadays is simply appalling. If you've got the cash, you've got the stash.

Barisan might as well just fucking buy over everyone and take the four states Pakatan are left with, and rule the whole country just how it used to be, right? After all, they're so fucking loaded, offering LCD TVs and DVD players and what not to win people's support for the by-election in KT. But hey fuckers, look what happened! You fucking lost in KT, that's what! You fucking lost in your own stronghold! So if there were to be fresh elections in Perak, without a doubt you'd fucking lose too!

Then there are people who also start losing faith in Pakatan. Apparently, both Barisan and Pakatan are assholes. I'm not denying that though. Come on, this is fucking politics. Can you trust a politician? Fully? Go ask a Pakatan supporter: Are you sure you can trust Anwar Ibrahim to the last fucking drop of your blood? He'd be damned if he said yes.

And those two corrupt fuckers? Left without a choice. They don't become BN friendly independents, they end up in court. They cross over? No fucking evidence.

What is the world coming to, eh? I don't know either. One thing's for sure. Once that fucking criminal Najib bin Altantuya comes into power as the goddamn Prime Minister, Malaysia is fucked.

Money money money,
must be funny,
in a rich man's world.

On a completely seperate note, don't you think there are be so many possible implications one could make about an audition which lasted less than 10 minutes long?

Compile.

2009-02-01T13:17:00.003+08:00

My audition is in three days.

DEEP BREATH.

***

I just realised something last night. In 2008 alone, I had not one, not two, not three, but FOUR different music teachers. Three Europeans, one Chinese. It sure was a topsy-turvy year of indecision, anxiety and what not. But at the end of it all, I dare say I've landed in a spot where I'm most comfortable.

Having a lesson with each different teacher was a unique experience altogether. From each, I learned something technically or expressively different. Gosh I'm finding this so hard to explain. Bottom line is, I managed to improve my playing in various ways according to the teacher I was having a lesson with.

For example, one teacher helped me improve my general intonation and sound. Another helped improve the flexibility of the right hand and fingers. Then I also improved in the area of bow efficiency and usage. Lastly, the sub-conscious lifting of fingers which I picked up from another teacher helped improve my left hand passages.

Sure, I'm not perfect and never will be, but in the past year I myself am aware that I have gone a few notches up in terms of quality of individual playing, let alone ensemble.

Let's just hope that the many different things I have learnt from different teachers will carry on in the foreseeable future.

***

The Star Review no. 3 is out HERE.

Iceberg.

2009-01-29T11:32:00.006+08:00

Remember this movie?

Well of course, who wouldn't.

No I'm not here to talk about the movie, or Leo DiCaprio, or Kate Winslet.

There have been various theories as to why the Titanic sank. We all know it as: the side of the ship hit an iceberg, water flowed in, within hours, it sank. After some deeper research I conducted yesterday, it's extremely interesting to find out various aspects of the incident, both scientifically and spiritually.

Perhaps the most popular alternative theory is that the ship sank due to a mummy's curse. To me the fascinating thing is that this 'theory', which is of course false, caused other stories to arise, making the topic more and more convoluted and complex.

Here is the excerpt from a book published in 1992, called Amazing Spooks and Mysteries by Peter Edlin:

The Mummy's Curse

In 1910, Douglas Murray, an Englishman, bought an ancient Egyptian mummy-case in Cairo. The case had contained the mummified body of a princess who had lived in Thebes in 1600 BC. Just a few hours after he had purchased the case, the American who had sold it to him died mysteriously. Following the American's death, Douglas Murray learned that the princess had been a member of a powerful religious cult and she had placed a dreadful curse on anyone who dared to disturb her final resting place.

Murray was an experienced Egyptologist and he had learned many stories of curses, so he paid very little attention. But then, a few days later, he was on a shooting expedition when his gun went off in his hands. He was so badly injured that his arm had to be amputated from his elbow. Then, on the journey back to England, two of Murray's companions died suddenly. A few months later, two of his Egyptian workers also died in mysterious circumstances.

Murray decided that he must get rid of the accursed mummy-case, and a lady offered to buy it from him. Almost immediately, her mother died, and then her boyfriend left her. When, eventually, she fell desperately ill, her lawyer persuaded her to return the mummy-case to Douglas Murray.

Murray presented the case to the British Museum, where a photographer and an Egyptologist both suddenly died. Finally, a New York museum agreed to take the case and it was shipped to America on a new, 'unsinkable' ship - called the Titanic. The Titanic hit an iceberg and sank, taking with her almost 1500 people - and the dreaded mummy's curse.

So there you have it. That's one version. Apparently the princess was in actual fact the Princess of Amen-Ra. According to some sources, the best documented version of this tale never mentions Douglas Murray. In other instances, it is portrayed that the ghost story was originally concocted by two Englishmen named William Stead and Douglas Murray.

Stead and Murray crafted an elaborate horror story about a mummy that was brought to England and set up in their drawing room. The morning after, everything breakable in the room was destroyed. Some time after they invented their mummy tale, they were visiting the First Egyptian Room of the British Museum and noticed the coffin lid of the Priestress of Amun. They concocted yet another story that the look of terror and anguish in the face depicted on the coffin lid indicated that the coffin's original occupant was a tormented soul, and her evil spirit was now loose in the world.

This is an excerpt from a source describing the situation when the mummy case was at the British Museum:

The staff at the museum reported hearing loud banging and crying noises coming from the coffin at night. Things were thrown around the exhibit room without explanation. Finally a watchman died. Then a photographer took a photo of the coffin. When he developed it, the image that appeared was so horrifying that the photographer killed himself.

Other sources depict this famous scenario after the photographer had killed himself:

Soon afterwards, the museum sold the mummy to a private collector. After continual misfortune (and deaths), the owner banished it to the attic. A well-known authority on the occult, Madame Helena Blavatsky, visited the premises. Upon entry, she was sized with a shivering fit and searched the house for the source of "an evil influence of incredible intensity." She finally came to the attic and found the mummy case.

"Can you exorcise this evil spirit?" asked the owner.

"There is no such thing as exorcism. Evil remains evil forever. Nothing can be done about it. I implore you to get rid of this evil as soon as possible."

But no British museum would take the mummy; the fact that almost 20 people had met with misfortune, disaster or death from handling the casket, in barely 10 years, was now well known.

The truth is that the Priestess Amun coffin lid (British Museum item No. 22542) is still sitting quietly in the British Museum's second Egyptian room, where it can be seen today.

Another twist to the tale presents us with this:

On the 12th April 1912 the Titanic was crossing the Atlantic on her way to New York on her maiden voyage. All seemed to be going well on the voyage. A group of eight people gathered in the first class smoking room to discuss the meaning of life.

One of the group was William T Stead, the English journalist and spiritualist. As the evening progressed Stead began to tell a ghost story which would open the flood gates to legends and myths surrounding the Titanic and her sinking for decades to follow.

He boasted that he was not superstitious as he pointed out that his story began before midnight on the 12th April and ended shortly after midnight. The story concerned the finding of an Egyptian Mummy and the translation of the inscription on the Mummy's case. The inscription warned that whoever should verbally recite the inscription would meet a very violent death.

The seven other members listened with sinister curiosity. Could Stead have been serious? Was there such a curse? Where was the Mummy - surely not onboard the ship they were travelling on?

Seven men out of the eight went down with the ship, including Stead himself although he had already had a premonition about his death some time before. The only survivor from the group was Fred Seward, who later when asked about the Mummy story told them that he would never dare retell it.

There was no Mummy on board the Titanic. The only Mummy in question was the Priestess of Amen-Ra. Her coffin lid did not leave its display in the British Museum and so was never onboard the Titanic.

However, the British Museum was never presented with the actual Mummy. Mr Taylor and the Egyptian Artefacts team think it is most probable that the Priestess' remains were left behind in Egypt. It is perhaps this fact that William Stead used to concoct his macabre tale.

Convoluted? Sure is. See what I mean?

After such an incident like the sinking of the Titanic occurs, what would usually happen is that the investigators will find out how the particular incident could have been avoided. In the case of the Titanic, it has to do with the iceberg impact:

It has been speculated that the ship could have been saved if she had rammed the iceberg head on. It is hypothesised that if Titanic had not altered her course at all and instead collided head first with the iceberg, the impact would have been taken by the naturally stronger bow of the hull and damage would only have affected the first or, at most, first two compartments. This would have disabled her severely, and possibly caused casualties among the passengers near the front of the ship, but would not likely have resulted in sinking since Titanic was designed to float with the first four compartments flooded. Instead, the glancing blow to the starboard side of the ship caused buckling in the hull plates along the first five compartments, more than the ship's designers had allowed for.

Also:

Originally, historians thought the iceberg had cut a gash into Titanic's hull. Since the part of the ship that the iceberg damaged is now buried, scientists used sonar to examine the area and discovered the iceberg had caused the hull to buckle, allowing water to enter Titanic between her steel plates.

Yes, there are many other details but then this post would just become way too much of a headache, both for me and for you. So yeah, there it is.

Science and the supernatural.

Question.

2009-01-27T23:27:00.002+08:00

How does one explain the following general assumptions:

Girls love chocolate, whereas not all guys do.

Guys are afraid of cockroaches, girls are scared of lizards.

Girls loathe egg yolk, while guys don't mind it.

There are bound to be more. Care to add to the list?

Ox.

2009-01-24T21:46:00.007+08:00

As the year of the ox draws near, I begin to think about many things to expect (or to not expect) in the near future.

This is the year I make it, or break it. Well not really, but to a certain extent, it is so.

After completing secondary school and soon to be A-Levels, I will enter tertiary education. I will finally be in a programme I really will enjoy, regardless of the inevitable hard work, stress, difficulties and so on that awaits.

It's incredible how I can still remember the first day I was in Standard One. I had a few friends, but the one whom I remember the best was Nabil. To this day I will never forget his name, although I can't remember what he looked like then. It's amazing how 11 years have passed since then, and I am standing on the brink of the first part of real success, or failure of course.

I have always had the impression that the United States of America is a terribly overrated country. Fine, there's Hollywood and Barack Obama amongst other things but the one thing that really gets me is the fact that many Americans just don't know enough about the rest of the world. Ask any regular American citizen and you'll be extremely lucky if he knows where Malaysia is on the map. And that's just one thing they're completely ignorant about.

Sarah Palin said after casting her vote on Presidential Election Day: "I will not tell you who I voted for, because I believe that I have the right to keep my vote private." Fine, that's justified. Then, she went on: "That's what I think is so amazing about America, the democracy." When I heard that, I was like, hello woman, you're not the only democratic country in the world. My mother herself refused to tell us who she voted for one year during elections. And she's just one citizen of this country.

Still, there is no denying that America is certainly the land of opportunities. One can definitely go far if things go right for him or her.

I made up my mind I want to study there. That was how I felt a few months ago. Now? I'm not as sure as I was before.

As some of you know I auditioned for Yong Siew Toh, Singapore last year in March. Obviously I didn't get in, if not I wouldn't be typing this now. After hearing stories which I shall not discuss here, from friends in YST, I became less and less keen on becoming a student there in the future.

But now I'm starting to look at things realistically. No, I'm not saying I want to study in YST.

But do note that I'm not saying I want to study in the US either.

Come on, I'm only 17 years old. I'll be 18 this year. Something struck me a few weeks ago. Maybe I'm not ready to leave to study in a country so far away. I've started THINKING again. And I mean really thinking. At this point in time, I can't really tell you where I'd rather go to study music.

This has to be the biggest thing that will happen to me this year of the ox.

My audition for YST is in one and a half weeks. My audition for the Asian Youth Orhestra is in three weeks. The first camp of the new MPYO season begins in six weeks. I start receiving my offers (if I get any, that is) in something like 10 weeks. Before you know it, it's fall 2009.

The music continues.

My god. Mindless ranting again.

Mocha Java Kee Wira Bulat. I miss him.

Outrage.

2009-01-22T23:02:00.005+08:00

I can't believe what I just realised.

On Sunday morning, as I was reading the newspaper, I was surprised to find my review for the Twilight Soundtrack in the Variety section, so soon anyway. I was further surprised to see the rating I had given it: 3 stars, instead of the 2 stars I remember very clearly. Then I thought to myself: "Well, I was after all contemplating whether to give it 2 or 3," and I just left it.

Barely 10 minutes ago, I opened the word document I had used for the review. My jaw dropped.

The soundtrack deserved 2 stars, and that's the exact number of stars I had given it. That was the exact number I had put in the review. That was the exact number I saw in the word document.

But that was not the number which appeared out in the paper.

Recharge.

2009-01-21T20:59:00.003+08:00

Today was an interesting day.

Had the chance to play some viola duos with Andrew. Learnt about many things involving music, local music society, amongst other things. Also got a new (well not really new) distraction to do with my left hand fingers which I have really, really started worrying about. =\

Got a call from AUNTY AUDREY HO about an upcoming chamber concert which will feature Dvorak's American Quartet in its entirety!

The String Hoppers reunite!

And I'm one of the players!

Yes!

Okay, stay positive now. It may be in June, which might be a crazy month in terms of things NOT to do with music and which may include my inability to make it for what MIGHT be my last MPYO camp, but I will play in the quartet. I will.

I WILL, YOU HEAR ME?

Looking forward to the next camp, although I barely know the repertoire apart from Beethoven 5, Blue Danube and OMG E.T.! YES! Duncan you must be overjoyed we're playing Mahler 5. If I'm not mistaken the Adagietto was the one you had on your blog music player right? Great stuff.

Worried about the viola section in terms of numbers though. We really need fresh blood next camp, and ADEQUETE AT THE LEAST THEY MUST BE! Gosh there are so many jokes out there, dissing violists. And it's funny how violists themselves can laugh at themselves (e.g. me) when telling or listening to the jokes.

This must have been one of the most random posts ever. And the fact that I'm actually blogging about what's happening in my life wtf. What happened to that vow eh?

Now on to my toughest review yet, Dave Koz.

Yeah you know, the guy who you can hear saying something along the lines of: "This is Dave Koz, and you're listening to Light FM".

***

So there's a string quartet in a football field.

At each corner of the field, there are the four players - 1st violinist, 2nd violinist, violist, and cellist.

50 bucks - thrown into the middle of the field. Yeah, right in the circle.

Who's gonna get there first?

The cellist, of course!

Why?

Well, the 1st violinist ain't gonna budge, why would he be so desperate for a measly 50 bucks?

The 2nd violinist ain't budging either, why would he make a move without the 1st violinist making a move himself?

And the violist?

HE AIN'T SEEN NOTHING LIKE THE 50 BUCKS SO HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT IS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

SORRY ANDREW! IT WAS JUST TOO GOOD!

Jumble.

2009-01-18T17:44:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, there are so many things to blog about at one time. Today I felt as if there was inspiration to write about first and foremost Manchester City's insane bid for Kaka, my thoughts after watching the programme 'The Secret' the other day, the Kuala Terengganu by-election, last minute loss of tickets for a concert I was really looking forward to and several other things which I can't seem to remember - there were so many.

There are so many things I have been thinking about recently, and because of the sheer volume of thought, my mind has become so ahdcoepbmsocmfuckingvkaoxcekcrazyqpxkl. So instead of blogging about those issues, I'll leave this link for all ye Twilight fans.

Click here.

Truth?

2009-01-15T19:45:00.004+08:00

Got this off Dexter's blog, not as if he tagged me, but what the heck.

Found it quite interesting, slightly different from your usual tag. I'll modify it a little by adding some description to the statement for some.

The rules:

Bold the statements that are true to you.
Italise the statements that you WISH are true.
Leave the Fibs alone.

I miss somebody right now.

I dont watch TV these days.

I own lots of books. (not personally, but my house is filled with books.)

I wear glasses or contact lenses.

I've tried marijuana.

I have been in a threesome.

I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.

I believe honesty is usually the best policy. (USUALLY, haha)

I curse sometimes.

I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.

I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.

I'm TOTALLY smart.

I've broken someone's bones.

I'm paranoid sometimes. (quite often, actually)

I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.

I need money right now. (not really, but i wouldn't mind some)

I love sushi.

I talk really,really fast.

I have long hair.

I have lost money in Las Vegas. (haven't even been there)

I have at least one sibling.

I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.

I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.

I like the way I look. (sometimes!)

I am usually pessimistic. (i try to be as optimistic as i can)

I have a lot of mood swings. (not that much nowadays, though)

I have a hidden talent.

I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar i have.

I have a lot of friends.

I am currently single.

I have pecked someone of the same sex.

I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.

I love to shop. (this is fairly subjective, i must say)

I enjoy window shopping. (not really, cause i end up not buying anything, so yeah)

I don't hate anyone.

I dislike them.

I'm a pretty good dancer.

I have a cell phone.

I believe in God. (i don't have a religion, but i believe there is a god up there and i believe in him)

I watch MTV on a daily basis.

I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months. (haha, never been drunk, merely high!)

I've rejected someone before.

I have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life. (not fully sure, but at this age, no one is, right?)

I want to have children in the future.

I have changed a diaper before.

I've called the cops on a friend before. (that would've been fun)

I'm not allergic to anything. (at least i think i'm not)

I have a lot to learn.

I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger. (*cough* older *cough* XD)

I have tried alcohol before. (socially)

I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.

I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza. (the cheesy crust or whatever is like ZOMG)

I have used my sexuality to advance my career.

I watch Spongebob Squarepants and i like it. (haha, used to)

I have dated a close friends's ex.

I am happy at this moment!! (okay, very subjective again)

I'm obsessed with guys. (JUST JOKING)

I study for tests most of the time. (reluctantly)

I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.

I can work on a car. (i can't even drive dammit)

I am comfortable with who I am right now. (fairly, yeah)

I have more than just my ears pierced. (my ears aren't even pierced)

I spend ridiculous money on makeup.

I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.

I'm proficient in a musical instrument. (proficient enough)

I worked at McDonald's restaurant.

I hate office jobs.

I love sci-fi movies.

I went college out of state.

I like sausage.

I fall for the worst people.

I adore bright colours.

I can't live without black eyeliner.

I don't know why the hell i just did this stupid thing. (actually, not really)

I usually like covers better than originals.

I can pick up things with my toes. (very few things haha)

I can't whistle.

I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither.

I have ridden/owned a horse. (yeah, a horse which threw me off)

I still have every journal I've ever written in.

I can't stick to a diet. (well, not as if i actually DIET DIET, but yeah, still)

I talk in my sleep. (the other night i was having a dream where people were making me feel extremely frustrated, and i woke up shouting "FUCK YOU ALL")

I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.

I have jazz in my blood.

I wear a toe ring.

I have a tattoo. (probably never gonna get one)

I am a caffeine junkie.

I will collect anything, and the more nonsesical, the better.

I only clean my room when necessary.

I love being happy. (dood, who the hell doesn't)

I am an adrenaline junkie

Discovery.

2009-01-13T21:13:00.003+08:00

And I thought I won't be listening to metal anytime soon.

Nah, not really. I haven't been, it's just that I've noticed ever since I added the HTML link for the live traffic feed on my blog, there have been some visitors from all over the WORLD arriving at my post: SHROUDED DIVINE Review. I gave the album 4 and a half stars.

I decided to check up on the Swedish progressive death metal band In Mourning, which produced the exceptional album Shrouded Divine, and found out that my favourite song on the record, The Black Lodge was named best metal song of 2008 and the album itself was listed among the top 20 of the year. I was really surprised to find out about this cause In Mourning are such an unknown band (which is good, of course), but I feel glad that such talent is recognised instead of your usual Triviums, Avenged Sevenfold (they're not even metal ok Kit Leong), and other 'great' bands.

So yeah, just a little discovery of sorts, to find people from other continents visiting my blog for this particular reason.

Dvořák.

2009-01-11T13:00:00.008+08:00

This man was pure genius.

Antonín Leopold Dvořák was a Czech composer of Romantic music, who employed the idioms and melodies of the folk music of Moravia and his native Bohemia. His works include operas, symphonic, choral and chamber music. His best-known works include his New World Symphony (particularly the slow movement), as well as his Slavonic Dances, American String Quartet, and Cello Concerto in B minor.

For more about Dvořák, visit http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anton%C3%ADn_Dvo%C5%99%C3%A1k

I am proud to have had the opportunity to actually play a few of Dvořák's famous works.

May last year it was the American String Quartet in F major with Jia Rong, Lu Ee and Dylan. A month ago, the stunning Cello Concerto in B minor with the MPYO, with MPO cellist Tan Poh Joo as soloist. Previously, Symphony No. 8 and of course, one of the most well known symphonies of all time, Symphony No. 9 (New World Symphony), both of which were with the MPYO, of course. Every time I play a work by Dvořák, the enthusiasm is always there.

Just watch/listen to these. Pure awesomeness.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vlci-kCEaKE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fj0GMQCi3gY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gfYV6AlIZw

Okay, some of you may already know this. Dvořák composed concerti for piano, cello and violin. So did he play either of the three instruments? Well, violin, yes. But primarily what did he play?

VIOLA.

DAYUMN. WHERE'S THE VIOLA CONCERTO, EH?!!

Change.

2008-12-30T13:46:00.007+08:00

So as 2008 draws to a close, I have come to a conclusion -

A part of my life is changing.

***

Music has always been a part of my life. DAMN, how many times have i said that? Or typed that? Well, after all, it is the truth.

Since the very beginning - from the time when I was first inspired by of all people, Vanessa Mae, to my first 'violin' made out of cardboard, to my foolish days of 'hating' classical music as a child, playing the piano and violin because I was 'forced' to by my parents, to going crazy about Backstreet Boys and Westlife and such, to listening to Hitz FM for all that pop/rock stuff, to discovering the wonder of underground music and other sub-genres of rock such as emo, post hardcore and others, to the days of metal domination in my ears, and finally of late, to coming back down to the roots of all music - classical.

Yes, it's true. Something has really changed in me. Even after I became a member of the MPYO, I still felt that I preferred modern music compared to stuff like what I was playing in the orchestra. For awhile, I was still writing and performing with Rosewood and stuff. Then came the SPM year when nearly all things seemed to fall apart for me except of course my development as an orchestra player and generally an improving, aspiring classical musician.

The proof of my somewhat sudden stronger interest in classical music is simple - it's practically the only thing I listen to now every day for the last few weeks or so. In the past, I would have my latest downloaded albums in my downloads folder, and I would fill my phone with various songs, primarily in the metal genre. Nowadays, I listen to various types of classical music - orchestral, chamber, solo and duet concerti and what not. The last time I updated my song list in my phone was a few days ago, and everything there is classical.

And I'll tell you one thing, I really haven't been listening to anything of my former interest. The other night I gave it a go - I played As I Lay Dying's The Darkest Nights at a relatively loud volume, only to find myself half paying attention to the song. I haven't been jamming either, and my band The Archetype? Seems dead.

I would have to say, part of this change had to do with a decision I made. I told myself, since I'm going to be majoring in classical music - it's about time I at least got serious in terms of discovering and listening to various repertoire. The decision eventually made me actually enjoy it and now there's no turning back. I won't completely say goodbye to the stuff I had been listening to previously, but for now I will welcome a new dawn into my current most important aspect of my life as 2009 beckons.

Heroes.

2008-12-22T21:01:00.004+08:00

There are certain people in this country who really deserve to be called 'heroes'. No, these do not necessaraly include Datuks, Tan Sris or YBs who have apparently done 'amazing' things for Malaysia, for example being the first 'astronaut' from Malaysia.

Yesterday at The Annexe at Central Market, five Malaysians were honoured as 'heroes' to this country, for various reasons, mostly to do with freedom of expression and views. Yes, I was there because my father was one of those honoured mainly for his contribution in the form of the book March 8: The Day Malaysia Woke Up, but for me it was a real eye opener, having the chance to see real 'heroes' on show.

Listening to Irene Fernandez speak about her 13 year struggle as a human rights activist and of the moment she was acquitted of 'telling the truth' definitely compelled my attention. Yes, long story, so it's hard to explain here.

I also found it very interesting when one of the other 'heroes', Hafidz Baharom openly admitted he was a homosexual and actually explained how his family found out. I mean, to announce to public that you are gay is already an 'achievement' in itself, but Hafidz sure ran a high risk since he is, after all, a Muslim man. As my dad says, anyone could easily blog about what Hafidz said (which I am doing right now), but after all, the man himself said that since his family already knows of this discovery, what is there for him to hide? Great stuff.

Journalist Shanon Shah of The Nut Graph also told of interesting stories involving him, the most significant one was of him trying to get to do an interview with PKR MP Zulkifli Nordin and how he had to as he says, "get my hands dirty" as a journalist.

Yati Kaprawi meanwhile spoke of her activism as a member of Sisters in Islam and her achievements for this year, while mentioning about the recent fatwa ruling regarding yoga. Yati put forth some very logical reasoning, saying that the government should not make yoga 'haram', but instead state that all yoga is 'halal', except those which involve chanting.

All in all, a very interesting evening.

Datuk Sheikh Muzaphar? Hero? Really?

I'd say even Peter Petrelli beats him to it.

Amazing.

2008-11-28T18:56:00.004+08:00

It's amazing.

It's amazing how time can manipulate you, how it can make you feel differently about different events, whether it felt like an age ago, or whether it felt like it happened just before you blinked.

It's amazing how my last blog post was more than three weeks ago.

It's amazing how it's only been 18 days since I did my audition recording at Carolyn's.

It's amazing how I remember my last dental appointment, god knows how long ago.

It's amazing how it's already been a year since the last MPYO tour, and a year on, it's time to tour East Malaysia this time.

It's amazing how I was in college for the last time for a long time, eight hours ago.

It's amazing how in less than 24 hours, I'll be seeing my pals again.

It's amazing how it's only been 3 months since I switched my major instrument from the violin to the viola.

It's amazing how Barack Obama was made the new President-elect only 24 days ago.

It's amazing how in slightly more than a month, A-Levels will be on again.

It's amazing how Jia Rong has already been in the US for more than three months.

It's amazing how in eight to nine months, I myself might be going overseas to study music.

It's amazing how I've been in college for nearly a year.

It's amazing how the next tutti rehearsal is barely three days away.

It's amazing how I've already lived 17 years of my life.

It's amazing how it feels like a century since the string masterclass on Wednesday.

It's amazing how I've stayed single for like - ever.

It's amazing how secondary school seems oh so far away.

It's amazing how I'm going to get the chance to play the orchestral part for the Dvorak Cello Concerto in concert, 11 days from now.

It's amazing how the last time I changed one side or both my contact lenses was three years ago.

It's amazing how it's been so fucking long since our last chamber practice, eh Dylan?

It's amazing how I was in Penang a month ago, when it feels just like yesterday.

It's amazing how it's gonna be a week since my first music album review for The Star was published.

It's amazing how I remember my MPYO audition in 2006 so clearly.

It's amazing how it's gonna be two months since I sat for SAT exam.

It's amazing how it's been more than a month since I came close to a music teaching job, before making the right decision to turn it down, unfortunately at the last minute.

It's amazing how I've had backaches in the morning for nearly two weeks.

It's amazing how quickly I've adjusted to my new spectacles, pretty much in a day.

It's amazing how my phone has lasted me more than three years, albeit the problems it has faced.

It's amazing how I've sent in my application materials a week ago, although it feels like a month.

It's amazing.

What is?

This.

Milestones.

2008-11-05T17:00:00.004+08:00

Black is beautiful.

It sure is.

In a matter of a few days, two amazing things happened. One in the sporting arena, and the other in the world of politics.

Lewis Hamilton and Barack Obama have created history.

On Sunday afternoon in Sao Paulo, Brazil, home hero Felipe Massa crossed the line to take the chequered flag and to complete the comeback of beating Hamilton to the title in the F1 season finale.

Or did he?

As Massa and everyone in the Ferrari pit were going crazy celebrating the Brazilian winning the championship, Hamilton had managed to pass Timo Glock on the last corner of the final lap to snatch fifth place, and as a result led Massa by a single point in the final drivers standings.

The Ferrari pit went silent.

So the thing is, do you believe in fate? How is it that the result was exactly as how the statisticians had put it: "even if Massa won and Hamilton finishes fifth, Hamilton would win the championship." I mean, how often does it really happen exactly in the reality of things?

Even I, who had already read the result online and was watching the repeat of the ending of the race was shocked. It was as if God had caused Glock's car to malfunction or something which allowed Hamilton to pass him, on the final lap! Drama.

People would question, was Hamilton lucky? Was this victory undeserved? Should Massa have won the championship instead? Well, like it or not, Hamilton's the new world champion, the first black to win it and the youngest ever as well. There's no way Ferrari are going to make an appeal to the FIA against what happened with Glock's car. That would be completely ridiculous.

Yes, maybe Hamilton did get some good fortune when Glock had his problem. But I personally feel that Hamilton fully deserves this victory. After a similar scenario last season when he lost it to Kimi Raikkonen in the final race, it's as if justice has been done. He had done everything right last season, in his first race in the sport, and though things weren't easy this season either, Hamilton prevailed.

I mean, come on, double world champion Fernando Alonso of Renault actually said publicly, "I don't know, but it's good he's punished anyway" when Hamilton was penalised by the stewards earlier in the season. Where's the sportsmanship there? And other drivers who by right should not be criticising other teams or drivers openly admitted that they didn't want Hamilton to win the title. Well, all I can say is, he sure got the last laugh on Sunday.

But as much of a Hamilton supporter I am, I do feel for Massa. It's not everyday you get to win the Formula One world championship, in your home grand prix as well. Massa was clearly shaken after the race. One can understand and empathise with him. True, Massa may have not been perfect all season or anything, but who is? Hamilton didn't have a perfect season either, he made some mistakes along the way too, just like everyone does.

So after the race as Massa stepped out of his car to address the crowd, even I joined in to applaud him.

***

YES WE CAN.

Those three words must have become pretty well known across the globe by now, and the phrase was chanted more than ever on the night of Tuesday at Grant Park in Chicago. More than 200,000 people were there to see and hear the new President of the United States to give his speech.

Barack Obama has been a revelation since he exploded onto the scene. One could already tell that this was a man who was indeed ready to bring change to America. His opponent in the Democratic party, Hillary Clinton eventually endorsed him too after she lost to Obama in the Democratic race.

And as Obama won the electoral votes by roughly 2-1 (I haven't checked whether all the votes have been counted), Republican John McCain, Obama's opponent in the race for the White House was gracious in conceding defeat, and promised to help Obama in the future. I felt that during the last debate between the two, McCain was going to find it very difficult to topple Obama. It was clearly evident that McCain was starting to get desperate, sometimes being too overemotional and always blasting Obama. Well, you can't entirely blame someone who was behind in the polls based on predictions.

It was interesting to note that this election was claimed as the victory of the 'young Americans'. Around two thirds of those young voters had voted Obama, and as the age groups increased, more and more were voting McCain, but even when it reached to around the senior citizens age group, it was somewhat divided, with roughly half voting Obama and the other half voting McCain.

As Obama finished his speech before the huge crowd at Grant Park and when his family along with the family of Joe Biden, his running mate and new vice president-elect, it was a truly emotional moment. I too, was holding back tears. Today was the day that America saw the electing of the first African-American as president. History had just been made.

A few weeks ago I wondered how Anwar Ibrahim could've been only 50 something when he was on the verge of becoming the Prime Minister of our country, 10 years ago.

Well, how old is Barack Obama?

Breathe.

2008-10-30T22:24:00.003+08:00

Ever been part of a five-person party at a restaurant which ate up to RM 1000 in a single meal?!

No shit.

Agh, the satisyfing, overwhelming, fun, amazing activity of OVEREATING in a place like Penang has certainly not done my stomach any favours.

Un. Believable.

2008-10-16T22:49:00.010+08:00

Those were the two or one or whatever words that instantly came to my mind when my Moral Studies lecturer told me and a friend of mine that we weren't allowed to sit for the final quiz.

The last few hours of today have probably been among the most stressful in my life.

I mean, can you imagine? I've done everything right up to now, but because he fucking doesn't 'get' my letter of absence for some reason or another, I get barred from taking the final exam,

Then he doesn't turn up to let me sit for the quiz myself.

Then he tells me I can do it this Saturday.

And the next thing you know, he says I don't have a fucking valid reason for not doing it last Saturday.

I wouldn't completely rule out the fact that this is someone who won't fucking admit his mistake.

While the appeal against the barring is still up in the air, this new matter which has arisen has caused even more unnecessary anxiety and frustration. What a time for someone like me, who has little interest left in my A-Levels studies. Sigh. And to add insult to injury, letters notifying of my absence from Math lectures are coming through my mailbox, even though I had struck a deal with the department some time ago.

Agh.

Spirit.

2008-09-28T18:16:00.002+08:00

When tens of police officers tell you they're having a police 'function' at Dataran Merdeka and that it is closed, in your my mind you tell them, "Yeah sure, don't give me that crap."

When a police officer ridiculously tells you to blow out a candle in five seconds, in your mind you tell him to fuck off.

When 2,000 people march on the streets of Kuala Lumpur, the police are dumbstruck.

The atmosphere along Jalan Tun Perak last night was amazing, with everyone holding up their candles high, chanting non-stop "Mansuhkan ISA", "Bebaskan RPK" and "Hindraf Valga". There was clearly nothing the police could do, despite us all completely blocking traffic on one side of the road. On the other side, there were cars passing by, honking away in support.

We were there for a cause.

We were there for justice.

Even if our attempts and actions were to no avail, at least we were there to let the government know that the people are no longer the people who we used to be.

And they better start thinking twice before putting people in the lockup.

Perched.

2008-09-20T21:55:00.002+08:00

Sept 16.

A relatively uneventful day. Well, relative to what most people were anticipating.

As I expected, there was no change of government on that day, Malaysia Day. However, on the eve of the 16th, Anwar Ibrahim told the massive rally at Kelana Jaya stadium that Pakatan Rakyat were ready to form the government, as they had enough crossovers from BN. The atmosphere was frenetic.

Now, Anwar may not be perfect, and I can understand why some people don't trust him. I mean, don't you think it's pretty vague when he says they have the numbers, when he doesn't mention who and from which parties of the coalition they are from?

In actual fact, it's a good thing Anwar did not reveal the names to the general public. After all, if he did, it would possibly cause the MPs to get harassed by BN to assure that they don't crossover to Pakatan, and maybe the usual under-the-table money payment will come into play as usual.

Then again, some people would wonder, did Anwar buy the MPs over? In the past, he did have a reputation of being corrupt as well. He has supposedly changed, but one can never be too sure. However, with the presence of the other two parties in the Pakatan coalition, DAP and PAS, such an act is most likely not conducted, in order to get the numbers.

And there was Zaid Ibrahim, who rightfully resigned as the de facto law minister after protesting against the arrests of Raja Petra, Teresa Kok and Tan Hoon Cheng under the ISA. Since then, Teresa Kok and Tan have been released, with Raja Petra still detained. SAPP also pulled out from BN, leaving Anwar with only 30 BN MPs to agree to crossover.

To be fair, Anwar can't really do much to force the change of government. In fact, he doesn't want to. On Malaysia Day, it was declared that he had sent a letter to the PM to seek an emergency meeting. Obviously, Abdullah did not agree. A few days later, Anwar came out and called for an emergency Parliament sitting, to vote for no-confidence against Abdullah and BN. Again, as expected, Abdullah gave a no.

So what now, then? Will Pakatan ever get to rule the government? Or is all hope going to just vanish into thin air? If that happens, we're screwed. Looks like Anwar may well have to go to the King, and hopefully the King will think rationally and make the right decision.

I've heard stories of Anwar and how power crazy he was in the past. To this day, there are people who still think he is, and to a certain extent, it's true. But guess what?

He's the next best, only thing.

Unstable.

2008-09-13T23:06:00.003+08:00

If the act of reporting a racist remark stated by an Umno leader is deemed a crime, then what does the act of the Umno leader himself become? This has been the question going around since yesterday evening, when Sin Chew Daily reporter Tan Hoon Cheng was detained under the ISA.

Along with Tan, Malaysia Today blogger Raja Petra and Seputeh MP Teresa Kok were taken in. But the major talking point has been about Tan.

The laughable thing is when Home Minister Syed Hamid Albar declared that Tan was detained under the ISA 'for her own safety'. Yeah right, bullshit. He said this today, probably after realising the government had made a mistake in detaining Tan. Well, it doesn't take a fool to see through you, mister.

In the first place, it doesn't make sense that Tan was to receive worst punishment than the Umno leader, Ahmad Ismail whose comment, calling the Chinese immigrants, sparked a ruckus amongst Chinese across the nation. Fine, Ahmad was stripped off party posts and rights for three years and suspended from Umno, but isn't being detained under the ISA a worse thing? As Martin Vengadesan of the National Union of Journalists says, this is a case of shooting the messenger.

While all this is going on, Anwar Ibrahim had been keeping pretty quiet, up til today when he suggested aloud that he meet with Pak Lah to discuss national security, linked to the recent ISA holdings. The interesting thing is whether the public will blame Anwar for everything has happened, as he is the one who has been promising to Pakatan Rakyat supporters that they will takeover the government, come September 16th.

Well, that day is coming too soon, and in my opinion, nothing spectacular to the extent of a change in government will happen. After all, so many BN MPs are still off on their 'study trip' in Taiwan. Proof of the government taking all possible measures to counteract Anwar's plan.

Every bit of support is needed for Teresa Kok and Raja Petra who remain under the jaws of the ISA. Heck, Teresa's parents don't even know where the fuck their daughter is!

Depressing, eh? Yeah, and to add insult to injury, Liverpool just added to my misery.

Exhale.

2008-09-07T21:16:00.002+08:00

What a rollercoast ride it has been.

Just over two-thirds of the year has gone by just like that. And it has probably been one of the toughest, stressful, and most eventful years of my life so far. For eleven years I had been learning and playing the violin, the most common orchestral instrument you can find. For ten years I was with the same teacher, would you believe it.

But now, everything has changed. It seems as if it all happened in a flash. After more than a decade playing the violin, my conscience told me, it's time.

Viola time.

At the end of last year, I became certain of doing music as a degree. As a result, I knew it was time to switch to a new teacher, one who I hoped would last for at least awhile, while trying to get into music schools. Who was I to know that she wouldn't even last a year.

Then a few months ago, my peers began suggesting switching to the viola. I thought nothing of it, until I decided, maybe give it go. I was loaned two violas, and ended up becoming involved with a chamber group playing a movement from a truly fantastic string quartet. Back then, I thought it was going to be temporary, as I still had my focus set on the violin.

My 'amazing' progress on my major instrument in the first few months were very promising indeed, but in the last few months or so, I slowed down a little. I suppose that is quite normal after a few months with a new teacher. But it was the last MPYO camp that completely changed my mindset. It was after the May camp. I had been asked whether I could help with out the viola section, after admin had seen me play viola for chamber. I gladly agreed, thinking it would be a good experience for me, nothing more.

I was wrong. I came back from the camp, a full length of a week playing the viola in the orchestra, as well as two chamber groups, and I had never felt so mesmerised by the amazing tone and sound of the viola. That was it.

So there you go. See how things can change in such a short time? There I was thinking I would be applying to music schools abroad on the violin, for sure. And now that I am short of time, I finally put my foot down to at least lighten my load in terms of college work. I made a compromise, to drop a subject and defer the other two for this semester.

I'm going all out. I have to. I want to.

Let's go.

Stress.

2008-07-26T11:20:00.004+08:00

I don't know how many people I've told this.

But if you told me that from today onwards, I wouldn't have to go to college anymore, I'd take it. Right away.

I'm guessing it's very rare for someone like me to be saying this, not too long after finally getting rid of school life which lasted oh so long, but I suppose my case is different, as someone who is aiming to pursue music, which as it seems has absolutely nothing to do with what I'm studying at college. And now that I have LAN as well, college life is really draining my valuable energy which I would rather use for more important (to me, at least) things. For fellow musicians, you would know what I mean. I mean, after an exhausting day of classes non stop from 8 til LAN ends, how do you expect work to be the next thing on my mind?

When I think about it, I wonder why the hell did I start A-Levels anyway? Why didn't I just take a few months off to focus on music and nothing else? Well, the fact remains that A-Levels might still provide me something to fall back on, say if I somehow astonishingly decide not to do music after all. This is where I'm torn between two worlds and have to live up both.

And that time of the year has come, application season. My problem is that if I am to apply to schools in the US, I might require SATs which is another thing to worry about, plus a recording of my playing which I might have to submit. At this rate, I really don't know if I can be prepared in such a short time.

The lines on my forehead thicken.

Turmoil.

2008-07-18T21:26:00.003+08:00

Sodomy.

Anwar.

Fabrication.

Najib.

Statutory declarations.

Raja Petra.

Bala.

Conspiracy?

Question remains, who and what can we believe nowadays?

Struck.

2008-07-11T19:03:00.002+08:00

I had candlelight dinner last night.

For three hours from around 7 pm, the world was in darkness. I honestly can't recall when was the last time there was a blackout which lasted that long. The whole atmosphere of candlelight dinner had me feeling like a kid again. Back then candlelight dinner was on purpose.

Our PM says we have first world infrastructure, eh? Yeah right. More like first world infrastructure with third world mentality. Nah, we don't even have first world infrastructure.

You know that feeling when a friend of yours is about to leave? Yeah, of course you do.

I feel that now.

Content.

2008-07-04T21:28:00.001+08:00

PRAISE THE LORD, for my violin sounds so much better now.

* whichever lord is up there listening to me*

Reduction.

2008-06-25T00:29:00.000+08:00

Is it just me, or -

No, I think it's true.

There are fewer cars on the roads nowadays. So maybe, just maybe, the recent petrol price hike is kind of a good thing.

I've always had this perception that to reduce road congestion, the government should like have this quota of number of cars on the road. I know it's easier said than done, but seriously, it would actually help a lot.

41% was a huge increase. I mean, at one go. But as mentioned the good thing that has come out of it is that people have finally realised, it's public transport time.

I, for one take public transport whenever I can and especially if I'm traveling alone, e.g. bus from college, LRT to other places. And I have to say, although our public transport facilities aren't in tip top shape, they're actually underrated. I mean, what's so bad about the LRT, apart from the fact that the lines don't extend into certain parts of the Klang Valley? Trains do come every few minutes, which makes it that bit better than the buses which could come anytime in the next five minutes of fifty.

We can only wonder why the government didn't decide on creating more stations earlier. I mean, the current plan is probably gonna be put into action like, next year, and be completed in four years time. That is far too long. In four years time this country could, or rather will become net importers of petroleum! We have to slow down this economic effect a lot quicker.

Damn, I'm sounding like some environmental activist or something.

The papers actually reported that more people were taking public transport now and that there has been a decrease in number of cars on the roads. It is evident. I can see it with my own eyes, I just hope this will continue for the better.

If I'm not wrong, there have been certain measures taken to 'increase' capacity of the trains, by taking away some of the seats in the trains. That day I was taking the LRT from Kelana Jaya and usually, regardless of the time, when I enter I get to sit down since it is the first stop of the line. This time though, it was so packed right from the start. At KLCC, there were tons of people lining up to get on to the trains.

So if you're alone, and you need to go somewhere near, cycle there. If you're alone, and you need to go somewhere far, and your destination happens to be near an LRT station, take the LRT.

What the hell is this post for.

Trial.

2008-06-12T13:20:00.006+08:00

Conductor Kevin Field said to us a few months back, "The violists are endangered species".

According to him, the ideal number of violists in an orchestra should be 12. During the last camp, there were only five at one point.

***

It happened a few months ago, March to be precise. After the first camp of the year, and after all the things that people were telling me (you've got long fingers, a viola looks like a violin on you, etc.), I went home and said to myself, I might actually switch my major to viola.

And in a matter of days, I was loaned a viola by my ex-teacher's student, who also happens to be my current teacher's friend. I began playing it, getting the hang of reading the alto clef, while still focusing on the violin.

Then I was loaned another one. And at around the same time, I was asked to participate in a chamber group, merely as a replacement for a friend of mine who was busy. Only after a couple of practices, I was made the violist of that group. So I went to the last camp, playing violin in the orchestra, and viola for chamber rehearsals. In the middle of the camp I actually was called upon to replace my friend again in another chamber group, because of some difficulties that arose.

It was inevitable. Before the chamber concert, one of the administrators spoke to me about joining the viola section for the next camp in August. I was given the time to think about it and to eventually respond. For the past two weeks or so, I had been thinking about whether to join the section, as a favour to the orchestra, or not. A few days ago, a message for all the orchestra members, sent from Kevin Field himself actually had special mention of me in it, regarding the same matter.

Last night, it was decided. I am going to join them.

For the mean time, I suppose I will be missing the splendour of that glorious E string, and missing the chances to play those beautiful melodies on the violin in the orchestra. But I do look at this as a part win-win situation. I help the orchestra, I get the opportunity and experience to play another instrument in an orchestra. How many people can say that?

Til today I still wonder how it all actually, and exactly happened. Things fell into place, I suppose. This doesn't mean though, that I will be in the viola section until I quit the orchestra. I do aim to return to the violins sections in the future. After all, it is still my major.

Endangered species?

Looks like it's time for some environmental saving.

Catastrophe.

2008-06-05T11:44:00.002+08:00

78 sen.

FUCK.

Dead.

2008-06-02T18:37:00.003+08:00

Happiness has fled. The feeling of emptiness fills my soul.

Yesterday was my birthday. And it really was a very strange one. It seems my last two birthdays have been spent away from home. Last year I was at the pretty forgettable LEO Forum, and this year it was the last day of MPYO Camp.

To all Tribal members and others, thanks for all the wishes, the presents and cake, and everything else in between. I had never felt that previliged in some time.

Last night going back on the LRT, I just felt so emo. Reminiscing about the good times we had over the last week or so, things fell apart.

Things just weren't the same when I arrived home. While I was unpacking my stuff, I could imagine you guys having fun on the 'infamous' last night, and the thought simply killed me inside. Even now as I post this, it seems as if my sigh is deep and my shoulders are weak.

This camp has got to be the best camp ever since Tronoh. I think about it now and still wonder, which one topped which. I mean, there were so many facilities available. Pool, karaoke, badminton, squash, internet, computers. All FREE. Whatever it is, there is no doubt that this was one of the best camps since the MPYO started.

But now, it's all over.

August is simply TOO far away for my liking.

Victory.

2008-05-22T21:35:00.004+08:00

May the best man win, they say.

And how fucking glad I was when it was announced that David Cook was the next American Idol.

On the other side of the world, Manchester United beat Chelsea in a penalty shootout to clinch the UEFA Champions League title.

***

But first, to Idol.

Cook's win was totally unexpected, really. I thought that it was David Archuleta who performed better the night before, and who had the largest fan base right from the beginning.

FINALLY AMERICA DOES SOMETHING RIGHT OH MY GOD.

Ryan Seacrest announced at the beginning of the show that one of the Davids (the winner) had claimed 56% of the votes, while the other had the remaining 44%. And there I was thinking, yeah yeah, that 56% is Archie's.

David Cook has arguably been the most interesting, original contestant this season. Damn, how many times have I said that. It's the truth though, and finally Cook fans and I have been vindicated. Ah, contentment.

But if you think about it, there really isn't THAT big a difference. Regardless of whether Archuleta had won it or not, the young man is gonna become a star anyway. And so will the other top 12 finalists.

For now though, I'm savouring Cook's victory.

***

Complacency and poor luck.

I was absolutely incensed when Frank Lampard scored Chelsea's equaliser close to half time. A while earlier, Cristiano Ronaldo had scored with a brilliant header to put the Devils ahead, but yet again, complacency crept in.

No surprise, really. Carlos Tevez missed two great opportunities, as United dominated in possession and in terms of clear-cut chances. I began to feel nervous, as Chelsea did gain some confidence getting forward.

Things continued in Chelsea's favour from the second half onwards, with Drogba hitting the post, and the Blues the better side in general. In extra-time, Lampard could have got the second, as he hit the bar with an instinctive shot, but then silly old Didier Drogba got himself involved in something so meaningless, giving Nemanja Vidic a little slap on the face, and inevitably getting sent off.

Drogba would definitely have been a clear penalty taker, but even without him,
Chelsea still looked strong.

And after the first four penalties put in by both sides, at 2-2, the 'best player in the world' Ronaldo stepped up to take his pen. And I was very unsurprised he had it saved. Ronaldo had finally stepped up to such a huge occasion as this one by scoring the opening goal, but that penalty miss will surely leave the pundits wondering whether he really is worthy of being the best player in the world. I still think he is, though.

Chelsea looked set to clinch victory. Captain John Terry strode forward, and somehow missed. I was elated, but to be honest, after the shootout, just watching Terry in tears on the ground made me feel sorry for him. I mean, let's salute Terry, he got injured only like 10 days ago, and yet he did his best to make sure he was fit for the final. That indicates such dedication from the captain to his club.

Mr. Milestone Ryan Giggs scored the pen which ultimately sealed the win, before Nicolas Anelka saw his penalty saved by United keeper Edwin Van der Sar.

Champions of England.

Champions of Europe.

The best team in the world.

GLORY.

Indifferent.

2008-05-21T19:43:00.003+08:00

So even without even knowing for sure, I conclude that the next American Idol is David Archuleta.

Simon said it himself. It was a knockout. Unfortunately, David Cook didn't quite stand up to the challenge. Not quite the right song choices. And plus, Archuleta performed his favourite song Imagine as his last of three, which was practically his 'winning' song. Cook on the other hand decided not to sing a song he had done before. Pity, cause if he had done say Billie Jean, round 3 could well have been tighter.

But it wasn't to be. All rounds quite obviously went to the 17 year-old, and it would really take a great deal to stop him from being crowned the next Idol.

Don't get me wrong. I am not against and do not despise Archuleta. I am a Cook supporter, but I firmly believe that this was a perfectly fitting final with the two best, most consistent contestants throughout this year's installment.

Maybe this proves something, that when one dares to be different, when one dares to reach beyond the boundaries, when one dares to be original, it doesn't always pay off. This pretty much sums up David Cook. In my opinion which was similar to all three judges', Cook was possibly the most original contestant Idol has ever seen. I was sorely disappointed, watching him belt out those three songs, and not quite stamping his mark on them ultimately with his own version.

Someone who wrote in The Star last week said David Cook's version of Billie Jean was 'copied' from Chris Cornell's version. I would have to disagree with this, because from what I listened to, the two versions weren't close enough to be called 'carbon-copies' of each other. I would say David Cook's version was 'inspired' by Chris Cornell's, not 'copied'.

But Cook didn't live up to the hype surrounding him. He didn't choose Billie Jean for his last song, when he should have. But there you go, how did he respond to it? "I wanted to do something I hadn't done before" (or something along those lines, at least). A true mark of a true artist who dares to take risks.

And for the young Archuleta, I still think that Imagine is possibly the only song in his repertoire that he actually managed to significantly play around with to call it his own. He's a really good voice, no doubt, plus he's really heart-felt and earnest, but apart from Imagine, I don't think he does much to the songs he performs, week in week out. Sorry, Archie.

After considering this case again, maybe it is better for David Cook not to win Idol. Why? Well, simply because there is a chance that he may just become one of those, singing songs he doesn't really want to. Cause that's what happens when you win a competition like this. You are under pressure from producers to come up with something that suits the market more than yourself. Just look at past winners. Then look at past runners-up or simply non-winners.

So it seems Archuleta has it made.

Something.

2008-05-15T20:04:00.003+08:00

Have you ever felt paranoid as if you have done something wrong which turned out to jeopardise yourself?

Have you ever felt like you want and need to do something sooo badly, but you just CAN'T fucking do it for some reason or another?

Have you ever felt you just don't understand why a certain something happened to you?

Have you ever felt like you miss something so much, yet you're so glad you've thrown it all away with the intention to forget it?

Have you ever felt as if something you never expected to happen on the outside, but something you half expected to happen in your mind really actually happened?

No, these questions are not merely meant to be rhetorical. No, these questions are not meant to bore you.

I'm losing this race. Should I pull out from it before it's too late?

Red.

2008-05-12T00:35:00.004+08:00

Finally.

After weeks of underperforming, Ryan Giggs does something right at last.

Chelsea two years in a row?

What about 10 times in 16 seasons?

Glory.

GLORY.

For justice is done.

Finality.

2008-05-11T11:11:00.003+08:00

So it all has come down to this.

Arguably the tightest fight for the Premier League title in ages.

Mind games.

Partying.

Distractions?

All Man United need to do is match Chelsea's result.

After last week's defeat of Newcastle, Chelsea lived to fight another day.

And that day, is today.

Fatigue.

2008-05-08T19:12:00.000+08:00

Well, what can I say.

I guess you lied.

ICONOCLAST (PART 1: THE FINAL RESISTANCE) Review

2008-05-07T19:40:00.004+08:00

HEAVEN SHALL BURN
Iconoclast (Part I: The Final Resistance)
Century Media Records

Release date: 28 January 2008

Sometimes, band names can spark controversy. The first time I heard the name of this band, I was wondering to myself if they were satanists, or simply anti-Christ for that matter. Being my inquisitive self, I did some research, and discovered that the word ‘heaven’ was actually used as a metaphor, to depict a fake paradise people create.

Hailing from Germany, many would think that this metalcore (melodic death metal? deathcore?) band would bear great similarities to another metalcore band from the same country, Caliban. After all, they did release split albums with Caliban in 2001 and 2005. But in actual fact, they do not. While their fellow countrymen have a pretty clear cut metalcore sound with some hardcore influences, Heaven Shall Burn are a bit more on the agressive side.

From the musical point of view, Heaven Shall Burn barely ever slow down throughout the album, until before the last two instrumental tracks. But when they do, such as on the interlude of Like A Thousand Suns, they manage to bring about a change in mood, which diverts back to the original in perfect fashion. A Dying Ember’s interlude also displays the band’s ability to write slower, emotive parts. Song structure-wise, this German quintet pretty much stick to the conventional verse-chorus-verse-chorus structure, while breakdowns and solos are not featured. Repetition does occur though, which at times makes it difficult to differentiate between songs. A particular example would be when all the instruments just stop, with only the lead guitar playing a short riff, before barely two seconds later it picks up again. This seems to be a trademark of Heaven Shall Burn’s, and although it is gut-busting, it occurs too many times throughout the album. Lyrics really play an integral role in this band, as they combine themes such as anti-racism and fighting social injustice, which does great favours for the band by adding to the agression and emotion. During the chorus Like A Thousand Suns, vocalist Marcus Bischoff screams in agony:

Betrayed by their proud leaders,
And executed by atrocious enemies,
So many homes, so many lives,
A silent sense of guilt should rise.

There are some interesting moments, the first which I would point out, the drums on Murderers of All Murderers. About 15 seconds into the song, the drumming pattern shifts to a really unique, electronica disco-type beat, which you would never expect to hear in this genre, yet it fits so perfectly. Another very fitting musical inclusion would be towards the end of A Dying Ember, in which a choir-like ambience is created, within the heaviness of the instrumentation.

As mentioned, Heaven Shall Burn are masters of the trade when it comes to brutality. After the first track Awoken, which is a 90-second intro of piano and strings, Endzeit just screams the word heavy. During these close to 50 minutes of heaviness, the vocals may lack variety, but are extremely powerful and refined. Plenty of pounding double bass, which is one of the many characteristics of the impressive drumming, adds to the whole frenzy of things. The guitars are mostly rhythm-oriented, although when some melodic lead riffs stand out during the choruses, they really do soar. A perfect example would be on Forlorn Skies, and on The Bombs of My Saviours, which happens to be a song about the strong fight against terrorism in this world today. Luckily for the band, they also succeed in making the bass fairly noticeable at times too.

And just when you’re thinking, slightly more than midway through the album, that all the songs are gonna be just heavy, heavy, you’re wrong. Black Tears, which is an Edge of Sanity cover done by the band, acts pretty much as a melodic cyclone to keep you and your ears sane (irony of the pun not intended). Against All Lies is another song which starts off slightly slower, but predictably goes back into classic Heaven Shall Burn roughly about a minute later, though it generally turns out to be a lot slower and more emotional (especially during the chorus) than the other heavy tracks. The final track, the instrumental Atonement, showcases great instrumentation once again and is a great way to end the record. This is where pretty much every instrument can be heard clearly, probably helped by the fact that the drumming isn’t the usual, explosive.

Some may argue that Heaven Shall Burn’s first single off their previous album Deaf to Our Prayers, Counterweight could have easily been a song off Iconoclast (Part I: The Final Resistance). To some extent this is true, but there is definitely an increase in quality of production on this latest album.

Rating: 4/5

Opinion.

2008-04-30T21:04:00.005+08:00

Dina once said to me something like, "I like reading your blog, you write about issues based on your opinion, not just about daily life."

Sadly though, I haven't had a post in which I feel opiniated about something in a pretty long time. So, I've decided to write about two issues happening right now in this world.

Okay. Nothing too serious. First up, American Idol.

I only started watching this season seriously, (as in each performance) since last week. Sure, before that, I did watch several key performances on Youtube, such as David Archuleta's Imagine amongst others.

And to be honest, I had never really heard the phenomenon David Cook that much until recently. And this is where I place my bets on him to be the next Idol. The rocker (oh no, not the rocker jinx again) really brings something else to the show. His amazingly original and bold arrangement and rendition of Mariah Carey's Always Be My Baby was experimental to the fore. And the great thing was, it worked. Everyone knows about his Billie Jean, similar to Chris Cornell's version, which he pulled off extremely well too. And for the record, I prefered Cook's version to Cornell's. Last week's Music of the Night was so amazing in its own way. So subtle, yet so powerful. And this week, Cook performed two lesser known songs by legend Neil Diamond. Yet again, superb.

The other David, (eight years his junior, and the youngest contestant), has also been making waves, especially among the girls. In my opinion, the boy isn't quite ready to win the competition. I'm not being biased towards Cook or anything, but I personally feel although Archuleta has a unique voice, he just isn't as accomplished a performer and in general as a musician, for that matter.

I won't elaborate much on the other male contestant, Jason Castro. In fact, I hope he goes out before the next round. The dude seems totally uninspired during his performances of late. Apparently he has a large fan base and all, but so what? His vocals are pretty normal, but his arrangements are plain and dull. I particularly disliked his performance last week of Memory, from the musical CATS. In fact, I would rather have seen a female singer perform it rather than him.

Then we come to the girls. Syesha Mercado and Brooke White are the only remaining ladies, after Carly's exit last week, which I particularly disagreed with. Neither of these two contestants are among the strong ones left. Both are pretty much extreme opposites. Syesha is probably the contestant who has improved in the last two weeks, whereas Brooke has gotten worse since, from what I remember, her great performance of Let It Be weeks ago. Last week, Brooke forgot the lyrics to her song at the beginning. However, the thing about her is that she manages to convey the message of a song really well. Unfortunately, this week wasn't a strong week for her either. Syesha, meanwhile redeemed herself with her version of One Rock & Roll Too Many last week, which saw her very comfortable. And once again this week she proved she was ready to put the past behind her with performances worthy enough of seeing it out to the next round.

Prediction?

Jason and Brooke in the bottom 2 this week.

Cook to win by a mile.

However, if the voters are aiming to vote based on popularity, there is an extremely high chance for Archuleta to win.

My vote goes to Cook though.

Yeah right, if only I could vote.

***

Next, the English Premier League.

Or football concerning Manchester United, for that matter.

For those who know, I have been a Manchester United for nearly ten years. I do have to admit, this club is definitely extremely commercialised across the globe. Heck, there are even Manchester United biscuits in stores!

But I would like to say, I do not support Manchester United because they are winners. In actual fact, the year I started supporting Man Utd was the year Arsenal won the league, though I can't recall exactly which year. Since then, I have never looked back.

And at this very point in time, Man Utd are on Cloud 9. Barely 18 hours ago, Paul Scholes fired them into the UEFA Champions League final for the first time since the 98/99 season in which they won the treble. Scholes' goal against Barcelona has set up an all-English final with either rivals Liverpool or Chelsea, who happen to be hot on Man Utd's heels in the Premier League.

Which brings me to the main topic.

Man Utd play brilliant attacking football. This season, the triangle of footballing genius, Cristiano Ronaldo, Carlos Tevez and Wayne Rooney have struck up a magical formula which has seen Man Utd showcase some amazing football, really. Ronaldo in particular has been in the form of his life. Apart from being voted the PFA Player of the Year, he has scored 28 goals in the league and 38 in all competitions. With six more he would equal Ruud van Nistelrooy's all-time record of 44 in a season.

Nevertheless, equalling or outdoing that record should not and I'm pretty sure will not be the Portugese winger's priority, going into the final two matches. Man Utd only lead the table on goal difference ahead of Chelsea, who taught them a lesson last Saturday, by beating them 2-1 at Stamford Bridge. With the Red Devils' next match against bogey team West Ham, Sir Alex Ferguson's men will have to be on their toes throughout to secure a win.

Arsenal are the team yet again left without a trophy this season. At one point, things were looking so bright for Arsene Wenger's side. Cesc Fabregas was rated as Europe's top midfielder, while Emmanuel Adebayor was doing a good job of filling in the shoes of departed striker Thierry Henry to Barcelona. The Gunners even led the league for the majority of the season, while Man Utd and Chelsea crept up behind them steadily.

Jose Mourinho shocked the world of English football when he left the club (sacked or left on his account, I'm still unsure) after a home draw with Rosenborg in the Champions League group stage, early on in the season. Avram Grant took over the reigns, but Chelsea did not look like potential champions at all. Needless to say, they have all the right in the world to feel proud with the fact that they are very much in contention right now to steal the title away from Man Utd.

One big problem for Man Utd has been consistency. In relation to that as well, complacency. The two C's have really made it difficult for Man Utd over the past few years. There are games when they play so well, score tons of goals, and there are games in which they concede cheap goals and things just don't go their way, and they end up losing. The complacent side of Man Utd has been displayed many a time in the last decade or so as well.

Prediction?

Ronaldo to just about hit the 40 mark.

Liverpool to knock Chelsea out in the Champions League semis tonight, but to lose out to Man Utd in the final.

The race for the EPL is a really tough one. I'm not gonna put my money on Man Utd, but I really hope and believe that they will pull through and retain the title.

Maybe You Stand for Fear.

2008-04-27T00:24:00.003+08:00

I used to think just because I don't get red when I drink, I am alcohol-tolerant.

But once again, I was proved wrong.

Hey, at least I'm typing post without any spelling errors. Not bad, isn't it?

Time Waits for No Man, Or Does It?

2008-04-24T00:02:00.003+08:00

Time.

An object of subjectivity.

They say time waits for no man.

I say not necessaraly.

How can it be that it only felt like yesterday when I entered primary school 10 years ago, whereas it felt like an age since I went for my NUS audition, which was actually only slightly more than a month ago?

I can't explain that.

This is what has happened when time successfully manipulates you.

AN OCEAN BETWEEN US Review

2008-04-16T17:39:00.004+08:00

AN OCEAN BETWEEN US
As I Lay Dying
Metal Blade Records

Release date: 21 August 2007

Perhaps one of the more successful metalcore outfits to emerge onto the scene, As I Lay Dying have been touring relentlessly since the very beginning. They have come a long way since adopting a ‘pure’ metalcore sound according to some (similar to Zao) with their first record Beneath the Encasing of Ashes to this slightly more trash-influenced latest effort.

Some may argue that As I Lay Dying have broken into the mainstream since An Ocean Between Us made its debut at number 8 on the Billboard 200, and number 1 on the Top Rock chart, plus the first single Nothing Left was nominated for a Grammy for Best Metal Performance. Still, it has to be said that this quintet remain firmly on the ground when it comes to making new music for the right reasons.

On their last album Shadows Are Security, As I Lay Dying proved all too well they could make their raw sound a lot more refined than before. However, with this album, they went that one step further. For example, guitar solos became an integral part of song structures, while the clean vocals which were rarely utilised on Shadows Are Security, played a pretty significant role in giving the album a better musical outlook with new bassist and back-up vocalist Josh Gilbert replacing Clint Norris. Also, the band included two instrumental tracks which helped give An Ocean Between Us a great musical shape. Overall, a more diverse sound.

The possible reason for the great musical shape as mentioned could have been because renowned Killswitch Engage guitarist Adam Dutkiewicz was co-producer of the album. Apart from the inclusion of the two instrumental tracks, one notable comparison which can be made between this record and the last is that on this one, As I Lay Dying seem to have found a way to indirectly slow things down during songs, with ocassional moments which feature the lead guitar keeping the song going. In short, the quieter moments are more obvious, while the heaviness has gone up a notch or two. The lead guitar riffs are also more complex than on Shadows Are Security, where the lead was mainly played simply as a single flat layer with the rhythm underneath. Not to say the lead riffs were terrible or anything, they still kicked ass, but this time, they seem to intertwine more with the sound as a whole, and are much more noticeable and original as a result.

I’m pretty sure very few people will argue with the fact that Confined, off Shadows Are Security, was a mind-blower of a song, and a brilliant song choice for the first single. But yet again, As I Lay Dying prove they could do one better with one of the best metal songs I have ever heard, Nothing Left. Right from the word go, the superb opening guitar riff accompanied by the pounding drums manages to give the listener the impetus to headbang even before the song really gets into the groove. The band also do well to delay to the first chorus, which displays excellent clean vocals. On this first ‘official’ song (with Separation, the first track and the track before being an instrumental one), a solo appears and does really well to keep the mood up. Then before you know it, the album launches into the title track, which simply hardly ever stops. The speed of which the opening guitar riff is being played is just sublime. There are hardly any points in this song to take a breather, as the intensity is maintained throughout and again, clean vocals with much better range than on the previous album really work well for the band.

Shadows Are Security boasted one of the band’s most melodic songs, The Darkest Nights which was a real highlight to many. With a splendid dual guitar melody causing the hairs of the listener to stand on end, it was clear that As I Lay Dying could do amazing things. While that song was one of the best tracks off Shadows Are Security, Forsaken is arguably the best on An Ocean Between Us. The first minute of this one is instrumental, beginning with a solid, medium-paced melodic guitar riff before the drums blend in. Once vocalist Tim Lambesis comes in with one of his famous screams, the song completely changes colour, as if from white to black. Once again, Josh Gilbert’s clean vocals lead the charge during the chorus to great effect. Breakdowns may be aplenty in this genre, but the one at the two-minute mark on this song is one of those which stands out among the rest. A killer lead riff is accompanied by a heavy, chugging rhythm, giving the song an amazing feel.

Prior to the release of An Ocean Between Us, As I Lay Dying utilised clean vocals pretty much only during choruses. The great thing about this album is that clean vocals are used during other parts of songs, such as during the bridges of Forsaken and I Never Wanted, both of which happen to include some really emotionally meaningful and brilliant lyrics. Based on my knowledge of this band, I have never heard them make a key change in their music, but they did so during the bridge of I Never Wanted.

Back to the topic of solos, the band really ace it them this time around. Comfort Betrays, one of the heaviest songs ever done by the band, in particular, sports a great technical 20-second solo. Along with this, Nothing Left as well as second single The Sound of Truth amongst others, As I Lay Dying seemed to have given the lead guitar that bit more work to do in the solo department. Also, the little dabble with the piano on This Is Who We Are to close up the album was a lot better written than on Repeating Yesterday, off Shadows Are Security.

With An Ocean Between Us, As I Lay Dying have every right to be proud of their achievement as they have struck up a formula which seems to work. While continuing to improve in the many aspects of technicality, the atmosphere on this record is definitely a huge plus point. Despite that, I still feel they can do even more, to turn even more heads. So can they fulfill that, and what do they have in store for us in the near future? We’ll see.

Rating: 4/5

Meaning In Tragedy.

2008-04-15T23:31:00.006+08:00

This is long overdue.

I never knew Andrew Yap Chun Shen. But the day he passed on, I felt something. Really.

I know it's been more than a week since that day, but every now and then I still think about how surreal all this is.

I have struggled to imagine how it would be like for his friends and family. How they could accept it all.

I take my hat off to his close friends who flew back from wherever they were studying just to see him, in that coma. On that hospital bed.

I was watching the video his brother and his friends made for him in memoriam and felt so deeply sad.

What a great loss of a bright youth.

Moral of the story?

You can never be too careful. Especially in the gym.

Rest in peace Andrew.

SHROUDED DIVINE Review

2008-04-13T18:23:00.002+08:00

SHROUDED DIVINE
In Mourning
Aftermath Music

Release date: 2 Jan 2008

It’s incredibly hard to imagine that Shrouded Divine is In Mourning’s debut full-length. Why? Because they simply have such a refined sound. Sure, prior to this release, they did have the experience of five demos, but for this band from Sweden to come up with something so enticing on their first LP is pretty damn amazing.

So what genre do In Mourning fit in? Progressive? Death metal? I’d say, they’re a mix of both. They aren’t exactly a regular progressive band such as say, Between The Buried And Me or Opeth (who they seem to resemble vocals-wise), and neither are they a flat out death metal band. For one thing, their songs don’t span more than ten minutes long, and the guitar riffs and drumming patterns do not always take influence from death metal. Also, they don’t take influence from jazz and folk as Opeth do.

Vocalist Tobias Netzell is a real highlight on Shrouded Divine. Yes, his vocals do have a certain similarity to that of Opeth’s main man, Mikael Akerfeldt. One slight setback, though is that Tobias doesn’t quite utilise his resources fully. In this case, I am referring his clean vocals. He does so on tracks such as By Others Considered (which boasts a pretty amazing interlude, mainly caused by the great effect of the clean vocals and acoustic guitar with everything else flowing smoothly in between) and The Shrouded Divine, and it is well clear that he has the ability, so why not use it more? On The Black Lodge, which is my personal favourite track, Tobias also features his clean vocal style, although he could have technically touched up on the way it came through for those few moments.

From a guitar point of view, the interesting fact to consider is that In Mourning have three guitarists. What really struck me as inventive is during the verse of the track Amnesia, the guitar sounds pretty much like a keyboard, creating a really airy atmosphere as the chugging rhythm is played as the base. Solos don’t appear as much as expected, but when they happen to appear seemingly out of nowhere at times, they really grip you with what I would call, stylistic emotion. They may not be aiming to display brilliant technique or anything, but in my opinion, it’s the emotion in depth, not simply emotion which can be heard immediately on the surface, that counts. The bass also makes its presence pretty clear, such as on the intro of The Art of a Mourning Kind and during that atmospheric interlude on By Others Considered, at least clearer than a typical metal band, which would usually have the bass playing in synch with the rhythm guitar. Drum-wise, In Mourning don’t do anything too showy, just really precise and perfectly fitting along with the rest of the sound. No blast beats, not too much double bass, just lots of great team play within the band. I particularly enjoyed the drumming pattern during one of the breakdowns on The Shrouded Divine, layered with a great progressive guitar melody and splendid transition of vocal style.

So what else makes these guys so engaging on Shrouded Divine? Perhaps the fact that they have a mix of long and short songs (the longest being just past eight minutes and the shortest only three and a half). As a result, the listener barely gets bored throughout.

And even the longest track, The Black Lodge doesn’t even feel like eight minutes. I would have to say the intro on this one has yet again, so much emotion in depth. Not long after though, the song reverts back to pretty much the main feel of the album during the verse. However, the chorus again displays great emotion, with the lead guitar playing in a very subtle manner but at the same time so powerfully in its own way. Tobias’ transition from death growls to screams is really excellent too. Before you know it, the song moves into a really awesome breakdown, which features interesting guitar sounds (that strangely enough gives the song a somewhat Middle Eastern feel, something which I probably exaggerate a bit on). Just don’t get me started on the superbly crafted, yet not draggy bridge which I can’t seem to get enough of. The rest of this awesome song, is well, history.

Shrouded Divine is the type of album which sounds great the first time, but also needs more than just one listen, to pick up the minor details which count for so much, such as the guitar effects during the verse of The Shrouded Divine and during the bridge of In The Failing Hour and the interesting element of repeating the opening riff of The Black Lodge on the final track Past October Skies (The Black Lodge Revisited), which probably explains the song title. The way In Mourning indirectly tease the listener with that slightly muffled riff momentarily appearing once again really had my attention. The closing stages of the final song exhibit the triple guitar play really well, but sadly, it ends all too abruptly, leaving the listener wanting more.

Nevertheless, Shrouded Divine doesn’t fail to disappoint one bit. Then again, were In Mourning ever under pressure to perform to their maximum on this record? I doubt it. After this though, once more people begin to hear of them more, perhaps. For now, just sit back and enjoy great prog –

No, great death metal –

Nah. Great music.

Rating: 4.5/5

Mayhem.

2008-04-06T15:45:00.002+08:00

So I didn't get into Yong Siew Toh.

Looks like I'll be stuck in HELP for another year or so.

To be honest, I more than half expected to see the line "We regret to inform you..." in the letter I received via post.

I wasn't prepared enough. I wasn't mentally ready enough. I was rushing to meet the date of my audition. I was too stressed in that period of two months.

I felt as if I had no life.

Now though, it remains to be seen whether I will be trying again next year on viola, or violin again. I still haven't made up my mind. I'm suddenly feeling lost, leading up to a concert I'm playing at next week. After the concert, I could make or break it with one small yet extremely important decision.

To switch, or not to switch? To add, or to switch? To switch now, or to wait another year? These questions ring in my head so very often.

For now, all I can do is wait.

Wastage.

2008-03-30T14:52:00.004+08:00

I'm lucky.

I can't believe I just said that. I rarely do. But after yesterday, I have to admit, I am lucky, in a way.

The string quartet I'm in was given the opportunity to perform our Haydn again, this time at some school in Putrajaya, for their graduation ceremony.

The school has their own string ensemble, with an addition of guitars, percussions and keyboard to their set up. Now without any elaborated details, one may think that since it's in Putrajaya and all, the ensemble must be pretty impressive, right?

Well, you may not necessaraly be thinking that, and it's sad to say that they aren't of the standard to be called impressive.

Before our performance, we watched the ensemble from backstage. For me, the main issue was with the intonation and technique. The F#s sounded like Fs almost everytime they played. I also noticed some players in the ensemble who obviously hadn't been taught the right technique to hold the bow and what not.

Nevertheless, there were some positives. There was this one double bassist who looked really into the music, which is always very encouraging. Also, there weren't too many problems rhythm-wise.

Too bad the hall was like any other regular school hall. Non air-conditioned, echoey. Because of that, we had to be mic-ed up for our performance.

This was a classic case of money not well spent. The government pumps money into this school for these purposes, which include even buying of instruments, and for tutors to come in and teach the students music. At the end of the day, what happens? The students have little motivation to play. They are not even of an average standard, when it comes to a music ensemble.

So what's the point of all that funding, when it will go down the drain anyway?

On a lighter note, congratulations to the newly A-Levels Student Council. Let's hope Jason Chow and his team can carry out their duties to the fullest. Although very few of the candidates I voted for won for their respective posts, it's still good to see the practice of democracy among the students, plus all the successful candidates are very capable individuals anyway. I'm sure that the chosen line-up will make us A-Levels students proud throughout our time here at HELP.

Add Layers to Reality.

2008-03-27T18:31:00.002+08:00

Things are heating up in A-Levels at HELP.

For this past week, the candidates running for the A-Levels Student Council have been busy campaigning for their respective posts.

And by about 4 pm, their hard work would have either paid off or gone to waste.

Well, maybe not totally gone to waste, but only one candidate will come out tops when the votes have been counted, and will then take up that post.

I must say, I have seen some really fun, interesting and innovative ideas going into all the campaigning going on.

You have candidates baking cookies and cupcakes for the students, tagging as many HELP students in their campaign photo on Facebook, and even having a bashed up car out on display outside Wisma HELP to attract people's attention. Comics and poems come in handy too. The list goes on and on.

Then there are those who make designs for shirts with words which are aimed at their fellow students, urging them to vote them. Sandwich boards filled with posters are another innovative idea, with their friends taking turns to have it on them. Badges also help candidates to campaign effectively. Nearly every candidate has his or her poster(s) up on notice boards.

This is simply a gist of what's been happening for the last few days. But, it can't be denied, that it all comes down to tomorrow, when the candidates are to give their 2 minute speech to a huge audience. This is when they will make it, or break it.

For now, kudos to them for their hard work.

For tomorrow, all the best. It's very likely your speech will inspire people.

In a big way.

Wear Misery's Crown.

2008-03-17T21:59:00.004+08:00

Dec 13th 2007.

The last concert of the week-long MPYO tour, at our beloved DFP. Coincidentally, the night of DJ Prom too, followed by the after party.

I made a brave decision that night.

And I will never look back.

But then again sometimes, I do. I think back and wonder. Would it have been worth it to go for the after party with my DJ friends, so abruptly after the final concert of an exhausting, yet satisfying time with my fellow musicians?

There was no way I was going for prom, but the after party was a different agenda, really. In fact, that morning itself, I was planning to scoot from Hotel Flamingo after returning from DFP, and probably take a cab to Asia Heritage.

Some part at the back of my mind told me not to. I followed my conscience, and it has made all the difference.

14th March 2008.

The MPYO Chamber Recital. At the same time, the A-Levels Fiesta, a much anticipated event in the eyes of the new intake, particularly.

I made another brave decision that night.

It was 7.30 pm. I had already performed in my quartet. I came out of DFP. I waited outside for my dad to arrive. Yu Szen called me. I could tell he was anxious. "Performance very soon. 20 or 30 mins." I assured him I would make it there on time, and told him to try and delay the performance.

By 7.45, my it started raining. I noticed the jam going out from KLCC was atrocious. There was no point. There was no way I was going to make it for the performance. Missed out on the chance to perform in the first real event of the year.

So if you were me, you would've gone anyway, right? I mean, perform or not, you still would've gone for the event, regardless of the fact that you'd be late, and drenched.

But see, I'm not you. I didn't. I put my foot down. I told myself, there are some things which are more important to me. There are some things more important than just witnessing people getting bid on for large sums (large to me) of money. Sure, it's all in good fun, I admit that, but at that very moment in time, that wasn't my priority.

From what I say here, it must be extremely clear as what these camps do to me. I've said this before. It's not just about playing, it's also about the company of friends. It's not just about the experience of playing chamber music, it's also about realising what life is really all about.

I may have missed out on all the happenings in college, leading up to the fiesta. Instead, I got high (not drunk) on vodka for the first time, something perhaps many of you have already experienced.

I may have missed out on most of the post-election news. Instead, I got to gossip with friends about the latest news within the orchestra.

I may have missed out on performing at the fiesta with my buds Yu Szen, Adrian and Nigel. Instead, I managed to perform in a string quartet, in front of packed crowds on both Friday night as well as Saturday afternoon.

I may have been too preoccupied with the camp that when I received my below-par (in my opinion, anyway) results, I didn't shed a tear. Instead, I naturally shed tears while doing something I love most, playing and listening to the music around me (hint hint Jia Rong).

I may have missed out on post-SPM results outings. Instead, I made it back in time for lunch with one of my best pals, a retarded gay (joking, Kit Leong) who had just arrived from Penang for the camp.

No, I'm not here to write an essay about the camp (as Tiki says). Instead, click here for Tiki's post. Ah, the irony.

All in all, it was another one of those, music-driven, staying-up-til-late playing PS2, cards and what not, fun-filled, company-abundance (is this the right term?) camps.

Thing is, I have to be completely honest, I wish I would never grow up. I wish this could be my life everyday. I wish I could live like this forever. I wish I would always be young, with the opportunity to see all my friends this young too.

Okay. That's kinda exaggerating it.

Cheers.

PM: ‘We’ve lost, we’ve lost’

2008-03-09T11:06:00.003+08:00

A new dawn for Malaysia.

Or is it?

With the Oposition denying Barisan Nasional the crucial two-thirds majority in yesterday's General Election, one has to wonder whether this is a good thing or not.

Sure, I have been taking the stand for the Opposition for the last few weeks, leading up to the elections. However, are we ready for change? Are Malaysians up for this?

There is probably no definite answer to that.

Last night and this morning, BN lost control of five states which fell to the opposition - Perak, Kelantan, Selangor, Penang and Kedah. As DAP, PKR and PAS rejoiced, the incumbent leaders were left to ponder on how this could have happened.

But when you think about it, this was the decision of the majority of the people of those states. It was the people who voted. It was the people who decided. It was the people who were fed up. It was people who wanted to teach BN a lesson. It was the people who did their part.

And after all, it is the people who have a right to vote, to decide.

BN's loss in Kelantan was huge, losing 39 parliamentary seats out of 45 which fell by a huge majority to PAS. In Penang, DAP ruled supreme. Selangor was taken over by the three Opposition parties, in fairly tight proportion.

What do these successes/losses (depending on whose point of view it is looked at from) indicate? Oh so much. Still though, BN has managed to retain various other states such as Johor, Terengganu, Perlis and the two East Malaysian states with ease. Now, just imagine if the Opposition had managed to win at least, say 15 more seats throughout those states, the overall majority BN would obtain would be barely anything.

As it is, the Opposition has just managed to deny BN the two-thirds. That is already an achievement in itself. People ask me, what does this mean to us now, since Selangor has been taken over by the Opposition? Honestly, I don't know. I'm just like you. We're all waiting to see what will happen in time to come.

Yesterday, while at my Pondok Panas duty, there were people telling us, "Must win la, we will win," and I could sense at my particular polling station, there was greater support for PKR, compared to BN.

My instincts were vindicated, as R. Sivarasa of PKR beat S. Murugesan of BN for the Subang Parliamentary seat, while Elizabeth Wong, also of PKR trashed Wong Dai Ying with a ratio of 2:1.

There were huge defeats. Chew Mei Fun lost by a whopping 19,000 votes to Tony Phua of DAP at Petaling Jaya Utara. Samy Vellu lost on his 'birthday', in his territory to D. Jeyakumar by a small margin. Shahrizat Abdul Jalil lost in Lembah Pantai to Nurul Izzah of PKR.

So many stories, so many highlights. The Opposition may not have literally won, but what happened last night was enough to give us encouragement for the future, it felt as if we really had won.

So, A new dawn for Malaysia?

Only time will tell.

A Glimmer Of Hope, Perhaps?

2008-03-07T22:04:00.004+08:00

I feel tired, but good at the same time.

It's not every day you hear of a 16 year-old volunteering to help campaign for an Opposition party for the elections.

I just did that.

To be honest, I wasn't exactly sure, or keen to do it. I mean, I didn't know what to expect, for one thing, and besides that, I thought I would feel kind of uncomfortable, in the presence of politicians.

Little did I know that this was to be a very enriching experience, that taught me a thing or two.

A few days back, I had started on folding of Parti Keadilan Rakyat leaflets to be distributed to the houses around my area. That was barely nothing really, since there was to be no interaction of any sort with strangers.

Today, however, the first thing I started to help with at the Bilik Gerakan (Operation Centre) was the packaging of items, such as caps, flags, stickers and what not, which would be brought to the various polling stations. I also continued with folding of leaflets, before being instructed to go on the walkabout to join the convoy, together with R. Sivarasa, the Parliamentary candidate.

We started by driving around a kampung area somewhere near Sungai Buloh, which had barely anyone in it. Still though, that's where the fun began. We were waving flags from inside the car, whistling to get people's attention, and speaking messages like "Harga petrol dan toll semakin tinggi! Parti Keadilan janji akan menurunkan harga petrol dan toll! Undilah Parti Keadilan!"

On the road, it was great to see support. As the four cars drove in a single file, other cars that passed by were giving us honks, in support. After the first kampung though, it started to rain, so we had to wind up the windows and continue driving, pretty much aimlessly, since we couldn't continue with campaigning.

We decided to make our way to The Store, some sort of shopping complex, not too far from where we were. It was so dreary, and apparently we weren't allowed to go into the complex, so Sivarasa had to make his 'speech' outside the complex, where there were people gathered outside, not to listen to him, but to wait for taxis? It was kinda sad, cause the response from the crowd was very minimal, with some people ignoring us who were walking around giving out the leaflets. After Sivarasa's 'speech', there was no applause, no reception, nothing. Ptooi.

Just when we thought things were getting worse, the rain stopped. We ended up going to another 'taman' area, where we continued or campaigning. This time though, we actually got down from the car to distribute leaflets to inhabitants.

From what I observed, mostly kids were running to us, wanting the leaflets. As I gave them out, I wondered, is there really any point? Kids can't vote anyway. But then there were adults who also showed their support when we gave them the leaflets. They were giving us words of encouragement and said they were supporters.

In my opinion, the best was yet to come. And that happened when we went to a pasar malam, not too far from the Bilik Gerakan. It was a huge thing, and the plan was to go one round around the place slowly, with Sivarasa standing on the back of a Ford Ranger-like vehicle, with us the 'followers' walking behind, holding placards high up in the air, distributing leaflets, car stickers, flags, and other freebies. The great thing was the response from the crowd was overwhelming, from an opposition party's point of view. People crowded around us, taking the freebies and all. Sivarasa made his speeches, and at least this time there were people listening.

The irony of it all was that there were BN flags in nearly every corner of the place. Yet, it felt as if we could reach out to the general public without any restrictions of any sort. There were people who even shook Sivarasa's hand, not just because he was a politician, but more of because they were supporting him and Keadilan.

We continued our good job inside the market itself. Still though, at times I was under the impression as if people were giving us the attention we deserved only because they wanted freebies, and not because they supported Keadilan. There was one guy who went:

RANDOM GUY : Saya nak topi tu! (points at my cap)

ME : Sorry la, ni dah habis dah.

RANDOM GUY : Ala, macam mana boleh macam tu? Macam tu tak boleh support la dah!

Despite that setback, there were real supporters out there. There was a seller who told us:

SELLER : Mesti menang la tahun ni.

From a motorcyclist who yelled "Hidup Keadilan!" while riding his bike, to a dude who had his fist in the air, followed by frantic honking in support of the party, today was simply a great experience, a real eye opener. I feel as if I have done a great deed, no matter the outcome of tomorrow's election. I'll be keeping up the good work at the polling station nearest to my house, being involved in the last part of campaigning for PKR.

BN pays people 300 ringgit a day for this kind of campaigning work.

Opposition parties pay people 0 ringgit for this kind of campaigning work.

In my eyes, I prefer to be willing to do this kind of thing without getting paid a single cent, instead of doing it for the money.

However, we can't deny the fact that BN will win tomorrow. Two-thirds majority or not, they'll manage to pull some strings and grab victory as usual.

Page 12 of The Star reads:

In Rembau, Anwar said he was confident the Opposition would win and "our first duty to the people is to bring down oil prices."

"God willing, we will win on March 8. You tell those Barisan (Nasional) boys we will win," he said.

I really hope so.

Dare To Be Different.

2008-03-05T22:24:00.002+08:00

Will all of this be worth it?

Will all of this hard work pay off?

No. This is not about my audition. THAT is over and done with.

I was just watching tv last night, and this advertisement started. Too lazy to switch channels, I sat there slouched, half consciously watching the ad. There were the words on the screen: "apa maksud damai" and scenes or pictures of people in some overseas countries starving, by the roadside.

The ad continued with "apa maksud something" which i can't seem to remember now, with more and more shots of the above being shown. I was kinda curious at the objective of this ad. At that moment in time, I guessed it must be to do with some association of peace or something. The questions running around in my head were answered moments later.

VOTE FOR PEACE. If I recall correctly these were the words I saw across the tv screen. Below it, the logo of Barisan Nasional.

And that's what this post about.

Related to this ad which I just saw, Raja Petra, a very popular name amongst Malaysians for running Malaysia Today the website, said recently that the government is comparing Malaysia to Nigeria. Or something along those lines at least. What Raja Petra said was, we're nowhere near as bad as Nigeria in many ways, but if we continue this way, we will even become like Nigeria!

And this brings me to another segment which has more to do with the polling processeso of this huge, drawn out, political topic. Apparently there are people registered to vote who are born in the year such as 1888. Yes. 1888. Not 1988. And the thing is, these 'people' have the new 10-digit IC numbers, something which was only introduced some 10 years ago. How is this possible? 120 year old people voting? With new IC numbers? Just proves what some people would do just to secure a two-thirds majority.

Just yesterday, the Elections Commission called off the plan to use indelible ink on polling day. Indelible ink would have been used after a person votes. That person's fingernail would be marked with the indelible ink, which signifies that that particular person has already voted. However, with the abolition of this plan, we all pretty much know what the dominating party in this country are capable of doing. The most relevant guess would be that their people would have their names registered at numerous polling stations, and since there will be no more use of indelible ink, this would mean those people can vote more than once.

I randomly went up to four of my friends today. I asked them, Opposition or Barisan? All four told me, Opposition. Just awhile ago, I was wondering, if all eight of their parents voted Opposition, there might not be much point anyway. After all, one person could potentially vote Barisan nine times. Sigh.

Yesterday, Dr Chandra Muzaffar slammed Anwar, saying it would be a disaster if he were PM. Today, it's Nalla, an old tennis buddy of Anwar's. Not just that, i turned to the first few pages of The Star today and saw these headlines:

"Abdullah slams Anwar"

"Ong: Don't fall for Opposition"

"BN: Don't be taken in by Anwar"

"MCA: Opposition behind offending SMS"

"PAS' Controversial Statements"

Five headlines. All to do with opposition. All five are negative. And the fact is, Anwar isn't even standing since he has yet to receive exemption after his jail sentence. The media is only publicising stories that benefit Barisan, and kutuk-ing the Opposition. Like even on the page where they have various photos taken by random people who submit their photos, practically all the photos are filled with Barisan flags. In some way or another.

And in yesterday's Metro, the front page had a photo of the Ryan Giggs and John Terry Celcom billboard along with other models with Barisan flags 'strategically planted' above the heads of the people on the billboard. Plus, the insanely stupid thing was they said "It seems like even EPL stars like John Terry of Chelsea and Ryan Giggs of Manchester United have made their preference on which party they are vouching for in the 12th General election." It's so not funny, it's shameful.

So, WILL all of this be worth it?

WILL all of this hard work pay off?

Well, I suppose I wasted my time distributing PKR leaflets to so many houses yesterday.

As Your Eyes Rest In.

2008-03-01T19:32:00.001+08:00

Will all of this be worth it?

Will all of this hard work pay off?

Will the future bring relief to the soul?

Will this life be better?

That is what remains to be seen.

Seven.

2008-02-24T22:52:00.002+08:00

Seven days and counting.

Which probably explains the seven hours of practice today.

The price I have to pay?

A new fear for something.

My left index finger.

Save Us From Ourselves.

2008-02-22T16:02:00.009+08:00

Sometimes, I really think the Grammys is a whole sham.

I mean sure, yeah, it's the night of honouring artists for their hard work and dedication to their careers. But let's think about this.

How many artists are there in this world?!

And how many of them are signed to a major record label?!

Truth is, there are plenty. And plenty who are deserving of rewards.

Some of you may think what's this guy's motive now? Hasn't he been the one supporting the whole indie/underground scene and scoffing at mainstream artists?

Well, this is not entirely true. I do not scoff at the whole mainstream thing, but the reality behind it is, there have been artists who have been 'destroyed' by the mainstream market.

I'm going to take the nominees for 'Best Metal Performance' as my first example. This year, Slayer won. Again. Out of the five nominees for this award, which were Slayer, As I Lay Dying, Shadows Fall, King Diamond and Machine Head, an average Malaysian would probably have heard of only Slayer, and MAYBE Shadows Fall, who were pretty much unknown until some lucky fella reviewed 'Threads of Life' in The Star, listing the album under 'rock', which is plain stupid.

Slayer have been nominated for two years in a row now, winning both times. When you ask someone what their idea of metal is, bands such as Slipknot, Korn and Metallica would start spilling out of their mouths. Point is, these bands are just a mere type of mainstreamed-generalised type of metal. What the general public don't know is, there are probably other bands worthy of this award. And I state my case, it's dead true.

I'm listening to Slayer's Eyes of the Insane (which won last year) right now and to be honest, this is plain rubbish. There is no substance to it. There is no clear melody. Tom Araya's vocals suck big time. The only highlight is probably the solo. Yet, this is not a song that deserves a Grammy. Bands such as Lamb of God or Mastodon would have easily deserved it more than Araya and co.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't just about metal. I now move on to the awards of 'Best Hard Rock Performance' and 'Best Rock Album'. Winner? Foo Fighters. Now someone please tell me whether they're hard rock. Can't they think of any other bands who deserve these awards just as much as Foo Fighters, if not more?

NO. At most, rock.

Hard rock? NO WAY.

Another band which is so overrated is The White Stripes. They won for 'Best Alternative Music Album' for 'Icky Thump', and Wikipedia states they hold the record for most wins in this category. But think about it, how many thousand alternative bands are there in this world? I was so disappointed that The Arcade Fire or The Shins didn't win for their respective albums. What's the whole fuss about The White Stripes anyway? When they appeared onto the scene several years back, everyone was so excited about the fact that they had been married. SO?

Then there's Amy Winehouse. She won five out of six nominations this year. What for? Out of sympathy after going into rehab? And another HUGE sham is when I found out one of the awards she won was for 'Best New Artist.'

Amy Winehouse has been around for FIVE years now. Yes. FIVE. FIVE.

FIVE!!

I mean if you gave the award to someone like say, Blake Lewis or Jordin Sparxx (regardless of whether they deserved it), it would mean something at least.

So how can one consider Amy to be a new artist? Well, that's probably because she only recently became known with 'Back to Black', which won 'Best Pop Vocal Album'. Strange thing is, Back to Black was released in 2006, and it just won the award in 2008. I'm just glad jazzman Herbie Hancock won the 'Album of the Year' award, instead of Amy's 'Black to Black.' Just proves the fact that the people at the top just wouldn't move out of their comfort zone to look for pop albums which were released in 2007. Besides, she's not even pop to begin with.

Still regarding this award, the artist Feist was also nominated. I personally hadn't heard of her only until last year, so I researched and found out she's been active as an artist since 1991. Good God.

Just don't get me started on Ledisi and Paramore, who were also nominees.
Going back to the award of 'Best Metal Performance'. I was just reading Michael Cheang's report in The Star about his experience in LA watching and meeting stars during that night, and I stumbled upon this line where he refers to Tom Araya of Slayer:

... and that even the most hardcore rock gods can have sweet little families.

WHAT THE FUCK IS HIS NOTION?!

Is he trying to imply that metal/hardcore artists have to be all evil and unpleasant just because of a selected few who really are? That is totally not true.

In this world, there is such a genre called black metal. And sadly, I have the impression that people associate 'metal' with 'black metal' a lot and saying things like it's evil and all that.

In actual fact, metal has so many different sub-genres. I admit black metal is mostly evil, and the lyrics of black metal bands tend to touch on satanism, anti-Christ themes, morbidity and what not. Take Dimmu Borgir's Satan My Master as a great example:

Satan My Master
I slit my wrists to drain me of my blood
Satan My Master
Up side down I turn the cross of God

WOAH evil, eh? Well yes, I totally agree. I'm not a Christian, but I am definitely against what people like Dimmu Borgir believe.

So, is all metal all evil?

Think again, after taking a look at lyrics from metalcore band All That Remains' The Air That I Breathe:

I have suffered defeat, pain, loss
Still I push to the edge, never falter
For this cement my beliefs
I'll will not choke on failure

There's the proof. There are bands which write lyrics based on positivity, such as the example above, relationships and even ANIMAL LIBERATION!

Wow, I really did get carried away. From the Grammys to metal music.

At the end of the day though, it all boils down to awareness. The National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences of the United States should really be helping the situation, instead of sitting on their fat arses and just giving awards to artists who have either won before or only who they are familiar with.

This is my indictment. Sue me, will you?

This Is A Call To the Faithful.

2008-02-18T20:14:00.002+08:00

I begin to feel it now.

AS THE TENSION MOUNTS.

Watch Your Tails, Gunners.

2008-02-17T16:02:00.001+08:00

MANCHESTER UNITED 4-0 ARSENAL.

'Nuff said.

Take This Heart and Let It Die Slow.

2008-02-15T16:38:00.004+08:00

It's a normal day. Traffic's clear. Nothing spectacular about today.

So your dad/mum/driver/friend or whoever is driving while you are the passenger.

Traffic light. It's red. Your car is first in line. The driver just has a momentary lapse in concentration.

It's green. The driver doesn't realise it's green probably because he/she is still spaced out or in the case of mums, looking at themselves in the mirror to check their lipstick.

PON! A car from behind honks.

DRIVER: Geez man. Impatient betul (or something along those lines).

Now think about this. In the original scenario, your car is first in line at the lights. If your car happens to be second/third in line and the car in front doesn't realise the lights have turned green, don't you think you would do the same thing?

So what's up with drivers (parents in particular) who assume drivers behind who honk are impatient when they themselves do that when they are in the situation stated?

***

Another case study goes like this.

Those who are from HELP will know what I'm talking about.

From the main road going towards KL, there is a left turning into Wisma HELP which Wisma UOA overlooks. On most mornings, it's pretty jammed. Since there's only one lane for turning in, cars virtually line up to turn in. Sometimes, there are shuttle buses which go to and from Main Block which make things even slower.

So imagine this. The driver is approaching this turn in. Whether or not you are late for your class, the driver is bound to go all the way to the turning itself, cut in to the lane, and beat tens of cars to it.

Dirty Malaysians.

But think about it, if your car was the one 'lining up' in the queue to turn in, and suddenly this car passes you on the right, goes all the way up to the turning, would you feel pissed?

DRIVER: Stupid la all these people. Cutting in, cutting in.

BLEARGH.

Okay. I don't really know where this is going.

Omg. Some random Daniel Tan spent RM 54,000 on his marriage proposal. Tsk.

The waterfall of money.

Race.

2008-02-09T23:03:00.000+08:00

Obama.
Hillary.

Obama.
Hillary.

Black man.
White woman.

Black man.
White woman.

Significance?

Michael Jackson wakes up every morning with these two choices.

x)

Man Devouring Man.

2008-02-08T19:34:00.000+08:00

RATSSS.

Chinese New Year is the time of year I don't usually look forward to.

I hardly get any ang pau.
My family and I hardly go back to Ipoh or Penang.
Reunion dinner is usually with only a few relatives.

This year was a little different though.

On the eve night, we had reunion dinner at my uncle's in Taman Tun. Instead of just seeing a few familiar faces, there were about 10 or so other relatives who turned up. We had a home cooked FEAST, which is uncommon, since we usually go to restaurants.

Yee sang from Mandarin Oriental, Johorean roast duck, seafood hot pot, sweet and sour prawns. These were the amongst the dishes we had. The atmosphere was really great too, probably because we were all toasting to several individuals (relatives) who had recently succeeded in their own thing. First doctor in the family, high scorer for IB, double-major graduate, NUS-hopeful (haha).

Because we had reunion dinner at a home and the maid obviously wouldn't have been able to wash up all the dishes, the four 'kids' did the washing up. Me, my sis, and my two cousins were the 'slaves' for the night. The good thing was it barely felt like chores, as the spirit of working together got us through.

Now, I was wrong. Initially I was unsure whether gambling would actually take place. Nevertheless, I had brought my cards anyway, and so once all the dishes had been washed by us 'slaves', we got it on. Sadly though, there were only about six of us gambling. Plus, the bets were small, so I felt obliged to follow as well. Eventually, I only lost a few bucks. POTONG.

After countless rounds of Blackjack, we decided to stop and move on to another game involving different kind of cards, Billionaire. It's really fun and my cousins and I have been playing it since young. We traded and traded cards and the second I won the game, the clock struck 12 and all my relatives were on their feet wishing each other "Happy New Year". Officially. A sign of great things, perhaps? xD

The next day (or rather, hours later), we went to my grand uncle's place in Damansara Heights and chatted with some other relatives. I woke up so late that I didn't have time to eat anything before going to the house, so I ended up filling myself with the usual cookies there.

After visiting, just my family and I had a vegetarian lunch in Section 17 which was practically like a ghost town. Just proves the point that KL is a great place to be in during CNY.

We went over to my uncle's place from the night before and picked up my two cousins and we headed to Pavilion. We were expecting the roads to be super clear and they were, up to a point when we reached KL. Then, suddenly my cousin needed to do his business. BIG business.

It was so funny, cause we had to stop at DBKL which was the nearest building. My cousin had told me the building was like a 5-star hotel (tsk tsk, we citizens are the ones providing the funds), so I wanted to go down and check it out.

Upon getting out of the car, we were 'greeted' when these two fellas walked out of the building and kind of like shouted at us in a really uncivilized manner asking us where we wanted to go, as if we were like a bunch of robbers or something.

Pissed, we walked in and started looking for the toilet. Then there were these officers or whatever at the main counter who were apparently 'doing work' who also asked us where we were going. And later, when my sis and I were just waiting outside the toilet for our cousins, a woman just walked by and said, "nak masuk, masuk sama sekali la!" *cackles*. Biatch.

Well, our excursion to DBKL turned out to be a blessing in disguise, as we ended up taking a different route to Pavilion, minus the jam. Once we got there, my mum started lining up for J. Co while we went towards the shops.

The rest of the time there was spent shopping for a bag for my cousin, rushing to GSC and hoping to get tickets to Sweeney Todd but giving up, listening to the live band play a mixture of CNY as well as modern tunes and eating J. Co donuts by the side. By then it was only about 6 something, so we all decided to have a drink at Coffee Bean.

We were just chilling when suddenly someone suggested we play the game Charades. Since the shop was kind of empty, the rest of us didn't mind. The game was fun, and after rounds and rounds of acting out sentences such as "He died from myocardial infarction", "The social deconstruction of Sweeney Todd" among others, we managed to work up an appetite for dinner.

There was a place we had been eyeing since arriving at Pavilion, and it was called Pastamania, with the tagline "Quick Casual Dining". Little did we know it was self-service until we actually walked in. Nonetheless though, the prices were super reasonable and came in fair portions.

Today I finally watched Sweeney Todd.

It was dark.
It was gory.
It was awesome.

Johnny Depp played the demon barber really convincingly, in my opinion. What really caught my ears was the music as a whole, though. Steven Sondheim is a true genius. Especially the opening orchestration was just amazing.

Sure, the quality of the singing was no where near the staged musical, but what would you expect from actors who aren't trained singers?

Imagine eating a pie after watching the movie. Ha-ha.

Restless.

2008-02-06T18:01:00.000+08:00

It nearly rained on New Year's eve. But the heavens cleared up the sky again.

DAMN THERE WAS A MEET AND GREET AFTER THE CONCERT ON SATURDAY! AGHHHHHHH!

Happy Year of the Rat to all.

I just hope my relatives will actually want to gamble tonight. Chances are, not.

Bounce.

Like Today Never Happened Before.

2008-02-03T18:08:00.000+08:00

DAMN, that was awesome.

Right from the moment the guitarists belted out the opening riff of Meant to Live, it was definitely gonna be a night to remember.

Switchfoot was simply amazing. And mind you that is an understatement. Sure, they don't have killer solos in their songs, and maybe Jon nor Drew nor Jerome have the amazing guitar ability of Matt Bellamy of Muse who made the crowd wild last year, but yet there was just something about the interaction with the crowd that made their first visit to our country oh so memorable.

Last night's concert wasn't just about them, though. Despite the fact that the San Diego quintet stole the show, true local music fans will also be very proud of the two homegrown bands that opened for Switchfoot. Lovemebutch, with superb guitarist Wing Meng (the brainchild behind Crossborders at Laundry Bar as well as the organizer of last night's event) played their hearts out first off. Then came Christian rock band Altered Frequency who got the crowd going with their mainstream choruses and hooks that got the temperature rising.

Oh, the vocalist of Altered Frequency was really lame too.

AF VOCALIST: Yeah! You guys are a great crowd man! Feels just like home! (seconds later) Oh yeah, this is home.

Another instant was when he TRIED to make his "signature" joke.

AF VOCALIST: What's the difference between falling from the 88th floor or the twin towers and falling from the first floor?

No response.

AF VOCALIST: When you fall from the 88th floor, you go AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *plop*. But when you fall from the first floor, it goes *plop*, then AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

HOKAY, NICEEEEE.

AF VOCALIST: (preaching) ... no to drugs! ... and stuff like that la.

Anyway, the point that local bands were actually given the opportunity to perform was really great. Sadly, hardly anyone was really giving support to them. I mean, I even saw people just staring into space, some were actually texting while the bands were playing and all that. And when Altered Frequency's vocalist asked the crowd, "How many of you are local rock music fans?!" everyone went ballistic.

YEAH RIGHT.

Back to the main event. There was once when lead vocalist Jon actually came down from the stage and held the hands of those in the crowd. Too bad I wasn't near enough. Strange thing was when he was looking into the crowd, he looked as if he was like high on drugs or something. Obviously that isn't possible, but he looked like he was in a trance or he'd just woken up or something.

What I found really inventive about the band's performance was the way they seemed to link every song to one another, such that the effect of one whole song playing throughout the one and a three quarter hours they played was created. Be it a simple guitar riff, or mysterious effects on the keyboards, the music was just interconnected brilliantly.

Halfway through American Dream, one of my personal favs, something so surreal happened. All five members stopped moving all at once and froze. The lights stopped as well, and it created this super cool effect as if they had suddenly turned to stone, with a chord ringing through the big ass speakers. I can still remember it now, Jon was kind of like squatting, Jerome was like holding a tambourine up in the air, Tim was turned to the side, Drew was I don't know doing what (haha!) and Chad had one drumstick in the air as well. They actually froze for like a minute or longer, so naturally there was enough time to observe each and every member and the pose they were in (except Drew, laughs).

There were just so many things that mostly Jon did throughout the night. There was an instance when he told everyone to take photos with their cameras at the same time and there were just so many lights flashing. Pure coolness.

Well, at the end of it all, it seems like a blur to me now. I certainly paid the price after all that excitement. I've got this funny feeling at the throat area, like as if I damaged my vocal chords or something (choi!) but I feel all that shouting and screaming and singing along was still worth it.

Come on, One Armed Productions. If you guys are able to bring in more international acts such as Switchfoot in the near future, then by all means do so.

I'll be right here standing by.

You Are The Forsaken.

2008-02-01T23:26:00.000+08:00

IMAGINE THIS.

You're in your living room and you glance elsewhere, let's say at a different room, where one of or both your parents are sitting doing their own thing.

Don't you just wonder to yourself sometimes that those two human beings could look different and have different names?

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say anything about my own parents. And besides, this is not my point.

It's just reality. It's just what happens to us. It's how we are now and how we will be.

SWITCHFOOT LIVE TOMORROW!!

Maybe It's Called Ambition.

2008-01-28T23:12:00.000+08:00

Okayyy, so it was my first Open Mic Gig last night at The Dram Projects.

There's only one thing I really regret after it all.

I should've called someone to watch me.

Oh well.

I played one of my older more emo songs 'Just A Smile'. Too bad I didn't get the chance to do fills with Daphne's band. I was all prepared dammit. Just proves how much damage a wee bit of miscommunication can do.

Unfortunately, it was a really informal thing, which of course isn't a problem, but when it came to my turn the bloody mic kept moving away from me so I couldn't start my performance. Minutes later, I was all set but some people had already walked out of the place. Sigh.

Plus I screwed up my intro. Luckily no one could hear it. Haha, that helps.